Fireworks

I love fireworks,so the fourth of July is exciting for me.I would have fireworks every year for my birthday,if I could, too. I have to say that the fireworks are great at Magic Kingdom; they are the best I seen. If it weren't for the crowds and traffic I 'd go to Stone Mountain or Lenox this year, but we will probably see the local ones in Woodstock instead. It's fun to set off the smaller stuff around the house, and I even like the "tame" sparklers, but I truly look forward to the fireworks with all the patriotic music.However, seeing fireworks on TV is soooo boring to me. They're meant to be enjoyed "live". I guess I've never gotten tired of experiencing fireworks displays,because I only see them usually on 7/4 and 12/31. As a kid I associated fireworks with fun, family, food and friends, and I still do,and the tradition is heartwarming.I know that at the same time I am watching fireworks literally millions are doing the same thing across the US, and we don't have to pay an admittance fee to enjoy the happy spectacle. I can't wait until I hear the booms and feel it in my stomach, and see the wonderful colors fill the night sky.It's only the first of July , and I'm already anticipating the light show. I start to feel giddy like a kid all over again, and that too is another reason to celebrate - when you bring out the inner child and laugh and your eyes sparkle right along with the sparkle in the sky.

Gina, part two

We are oil and water, frequently at odds. Parents will say that's a typical teenager, with the usual angst. Well, yes and no. Gina is seventeen; that's true, but she also is maddeningly oppositional. I refer you to my post of 3/26 about my daughter, which tells of her behavioral issues.Gina was at a church retreat this week called Snowbird Camp, and I'm certain that she had a blast, and I'm glad she did, because Al and I had a quiet respite for the past six days, without guilt. Gina Lynn Diann makes me laugh, and she makes me cry, but, currently, most of the time she just exasperates me. Her senior year approaches; I pray she does well, but it's a question mark based on her patterns ever since she was 10, almost half her life. My daughter's high school years have been challenging for all of us, and her graduation day really will be cause for celebration. A case of champagne will be in order ( and that's just for her parents).

Critic

My very first post was about my students rating me on my teaching. I learned a long time ago that even though I am speaking - or writing - to more than one person at the same time, one might like what I say, and another won't. That's ok, because I learn much from people who are my critics. I am open to reconsidering my positions, and my opinions aren't written in stone.I just like someone to have a logical disagreement with me, not just be negative to be negative.I have a FB friend, and former colleague who obviously has disdain for me based on her irritated responses to my posts. I received a long, agitated private message from her, asking me to recognize that I am an ass. Wow! That is really not very productive or helpful. I have asked her for specifics, but she says my acerbic words speak for themselves. I'm bound to offend and/or annoy a person sooner or later, but dismissing me out of hand for everything I say bothers me, because at this point in my life,I wonder why she feels the need to keep playing devil's advocate with me. You might say, " defriend her", but I am curious about her abrasive responses, and she gives me pause as an evaluation " tool "( in more ways than one ). My husband, dear friends and son can give me constructive criticism, and I know that they love me, in spite of myself. This unnamed lady doesn't make her adversarial comments from a place of Love, so I want to verbally retaliate in kind, but I don't, because it would appear defensive. After all, if I end up writing a book, I know that there could be/ will be harsh critics and rejections. I'll write anyway.

Adam

Joyous tears and beaming eyes direct their thoughts to you. My Molten core's seismic Waves came into existence through that umbilical cord ,forever binding our hearts,yours being the only other soul besides mine that ever grew within me. Magnetic energy undenied, whose symbiotic grasp willingly endures. I breathe you in, not wanting to exhale. Love so profound that I can glimpse God. Raison d'être and joie de vivre propel me to my best. Your happiness,paramount for me,enlightens me that giving is truly more exponentially satisfying than receiving.I would give up my life for you to live and thrive, with certainty that nothing is more significant than to be Mother - comforter, encourager, helper and protector. Whatever age, whatever stage, wherever you are on your life's path, I will walk with you. You keep me from weariness, from ennui, from despairing of Life 's travails. I become hyperbolic.When you smile,I laugh.When you cry, I wail. When you hurt, I scream. Your Father's son, reflecting his authentic essence, I revel in your similitude to him, but also the uniqueness which elevates you beyond him or me. YOU are my miracle from God.

Laughing

Brevity is the soul of wit.What's not to like about a well delivered joke or great comedic timing? It's uplifting to read humorously captioned photos and cartoons, and I love getting funny emails and cards.It's also great to see all the diverse humor posted on FB. I love to laugh, and it is great to do that at least once a day. Sometimes I like reverting to childishness, too, and just being silly. The world news gives us little to smile about, and so the diversion of laughter really is good medicine. That is what is so magical about babies and toddlers; they aren't aware of the craziness of macrocosmic problems.Really young children see wonder in a drop of water or the awe of a dandelion. They have spontaneous joy, and that is the best kind of levity.Joyful microcosmic moments are what we need, because much of the everyday " larger " world doesn't have all that much to laugh about. I guess I'm fantasizing - and romanticizing - about being a grandparent, because many of the most joyful, yet authentic, moments of my life were with Adam and Gina when they were youngsters. Both were precocious and both made me laugh out loud;I was deliriously happy, forgetting about my worries and stress when I was with them, because they both kept me "in the moment." I hope my son and daughter will feel that way about their own children( if they have children, that is).

Luck

I have never really wanted to be another person - e.g., a man-, nor any other animal for that matter. I like being female and a human, and I'm fortunate to live in this country where I'm not oppressed for my gender. When I read about burkas or acid being thrown on women or all kinds of atrocities perpetrated on women - yes, I know it can happen here - I cringe, and ask myself why I've had the luck of the draw. It's the "luck" of being born to middle class parents, growing up in"normal" circumstances, here in a democratic society.It's lucky to be of normal intelligence, without physical disabilities.I have a loving husband and healthy children. I can worship the way I want; I can go where I want and when I choose.I don't know what real poverty feels like. I have creature comforts, good food, safe water and a ( UMC) roof over my head. I'm not homeless, nor an outcast, nor mentally ill, and I have an " average" appearance, and I'm not a misfit.I am lucky that I have not been scarred by war, nor have I been put in harm's way- let alone on a daily basis, like so many people in the world.I have not been held captive, nor tortured, nor sold into slavery or sex- trafficking. I have not experienced racism or bigotry.I do not have addictions, nor did my parents, nor do my children.Millions of people worry about surviving from one day to the next; I'm not one of them.I can thrive. I call that lucky, because I'm blessed to have been born into positive environment with great DNA, and I do not feel blasé or cavalier about my fortuitous circumstances.

Respite

I will be having two inexpensive destinations this summer. In a couple of weeks, I'll be at a private cabin for a couple nights in Georgia wine country in the Appalachian foothills - hot tub, spa, pool, wine, and excellent, dear company. I love forests for walking and serenity, and the cabin should be lovely and quiet. Then for Labor Day weekend, we'll be on Tybee Island at a large beach condo which sleeps eight, so Gina will have a friend with her; Adam can have a pal,and we've invited a couple, who are dear friends to join us.Low key and restful. The ocean has always had a reinvigorating allure to it. These short road trips are to two very different locales, and that is very appealing for me. For financial reasons, Al and I aren't able to go to Michigan this summer, and we cancelled our much anticipated cruise to Bermuda.I really have travel lust, so this will be just what the doctor ordered so to speak, to give me a "fix."

Grateful

It was a beautiful full moon last night. It's a gorgeous, sunny day today. I woke up refreshed and healthy this morning. I'm in a great mood. I am feeling extra blessed and thankful for my current, positive attitude.My family is healthy. It's summer,too. That's all, and that is more than enough. These are the moments that give us strength and optimism to face the difficulties which are bound to come.

5 addresses

I have only had 5 mailing addresses in my nearly 61 years. 566 E.Tennyson St,
48 B. Street,9940 Norman Rd., 11860 Clark Rd, and 208 Plum Orchard Way. Each place represents wonderful memories and specific passages in my life. Tennyson - ages birth until 19; B St - ages 19 until 24, Norman- ages 24 until 35; Clark- ages 35 until 41; Plum Orchard - ages 41 until currently.( I have lived in the same home in Georgia for almost 20 years. That's longer than the time I lived in my parents' home.) Also, I like the fact that my house numbers have all been even numbers; I 'm quirky that way. Anyway, I have buried a time capsule on all of the properties except Plum Orchard. I do it just before I move. So before we move to a condo or whatever, I'll bury another one. No treasure or anything like that, just little mementos of those periods of time. I don't know if I'll ever dig any of them up, but it was fun to leave a little bit of personal history behind.

Shopping

I have to say that shopping online can be a very positive experience. I have mixed reviews about EBay and Craig's List, but other sites have been user friendly and have satisfying service, with free shipping, and large discounts.This morning I shopped at Macy's.com while sitting on the sofa, drinking coffee, in my pajamas. I purchased two blouses, and if I decide that I don't want the tops, I can return them. I used to be one of those "shop until you drop" people, who could while away a whole Saturday at a mall. Now, I can't be bothered with that, unless it's to socialize with a friend, and then the " shopping time" becomes more about chatting , not looking for my next purchase. In my younger days, I was more of an impulse shopper as well, not so much any more. I don't watch QVC or such, because I don't like the sales pitches. Being online, you don 't have to deal with sales associates who are over solicitous. I think Sound stage direct and Zazzle are great sites, btw , and I also recommend Proflowers. One exception I often make about shopping at an actual store is shopping at Good Will on Tuesdays. I can leave that store with two bags full of clothes for Al, Gina, Adam and me for $25.I pick Tuesdays, because people over 55 get an extra 10% off that day.The clothes I get at Good Will are often name brands with the store tags on them. I found Adam a brand new Armani jacket one time for $8. Hello! It pays not to be a snob.

Chores

I am spending part of the morning cleaning - vacuuming,dusting, washing, straightening up, changing sheets;you know, the usual, necessary drudgery.Let me just say that I hate doing it, but it needs to be done, of course. Having a cleaning service is not a current option, but admittedly, I certainly don't deep clean as often as I should. I'm thankful that I have modern tools and conveniences, but that only makes the chores more bearable, not enjoyable. My husband cleans often and well. I do appreciate that about him. My daughter can't even seem to keep her bedroom and bathroom straightened , let alone " clean". Sometimes, I just have to close her doors. Homeowners know well that there is always something to do around the house,inside and out. For instance, I need to wash the windows, and I keep putting it off. Some things we can 't do ourselves, however. Al just told me that some wood around our big, bay window needs replacing. Our deck needs to be redone, and our driveway needs to be resealed. We've really maintained the house fairly well over the last 20 years, but as we get older, that continual maintenance has become burdensome. We are thinking of getting some kind of condo eventually, because Al is very tired of the yard work. We actually look forward to downsizing. Nevertheless, we still need to do the housekeeping, so I will eventually break down and get a cleaning service after we make our next move- which will hopefully be our last. Am I having first world problems? Uh, yea....

Skewed

Let's say there's a car accident and four eyewitnesses.The reporting by everyone will overlap, but each person will also have his own perspective and a few different remembered details from the other three. I say this, because I might have shared experiences with a group of people, but each person in the group might remember it differently than I did. When I was around 9 , my maternal grandma had a picnic at her house. A picnic would be the only way Grandma could entertain a lot of company, because her home was the size of small apartment with a tiny bathroom,one bedroom, a small living room and smaller kitchen.I loved her pint sized house, because it was her home, and I loved my grandma. Anyway, the day of the picnic was sunny and warm ( not a cloud in the sky) and many of my relatives were there, although it wasn't a family reunion, because those were always ginormous events. Well,what I remember was injury,embarrassment,teasing,roughhousing,and self- pity. The pot luck lunch was delicious- my mom and aunts were great cooks- and I'm sure everyone there would agree on that point. However,that was the only great part of the get together for me. I stubbed my big toe ; I had Pepsi come out of my nose- no joke;my brother Gary punched me in the arm; my brother Jim ridiculed my outfit, and I felt miserable. Later, after we got back home, I must have been pouting, because my mom asked me what was wrong. I told her and she said that she hadn't seen or heard anything that had happened to me. Then here's what she told me: my father had hurt his wrist playing horseshoes; my sister Debra had found a dead bird and was crying; my grandma was upset because the toilet in her bathroom wasn't working; my rascal brothers had been at my Grandma's neighbors throwing acorns; my mom had gotten some bird poop on her blouse.Wow. We were all at the same place at the same time, but we were all having unique experiences, and I hadn't observed any of that??? It could have been the fact that I was nine, but "shared" moments still have narcissistic , self-absorbed elements to them, and our perspectives won't necessarily mesh with the other eyewitnesses to the event.Memories are selective and subjective.

New York City

Forty years ago, when I graduated from college in May 1973, my parents took me on an all expenses paid trip for a week to New York City for my grad gift. My husband had died tragically four months earlier, and I think they wanted me to have a celebration and distraction after a season of grief. We stayed at the Hilton, but I don't remember much about the hotel except for the Egyptian cotton sheets. Never being in NY before, I was dazzled by the city. We went to two plays that were memorable. I saw Debbie Reynolds in the musical "Irene" at the brand new Minskoff Theater, and I saw "The Women" with Myrna Loy, Alexis Smith, Kim Hunter and Rhonda Fleming. Wow,both plays knocked my socks off, and I was hooked on Broadway's glamour and allure, and all that star power. I watched Paul Simon perform at Carnegie Hall, and I was as much in awe of that building as I was of him. The plays and concert were a complete surprise to me. My mother had planned everything so well( I get my need to plan from her). A high mark ( no pun intended) was having dinner at the Rainbow Room on the 65th floor of the GE skyscraoer( now known as the Rock). Iwore a black silk evening gown, drank manhattans, marveled at the views, ate fabulous steak and danced with my dad. Nancy Wilson performed that night. My parents loved her, but I had been unfamiliar with her before that evening. She was phenomenal.Her friend Carol Burnett happened to be there to see her, so we had the bonus of the two icons singing a song together. I was in 7th heaven - great music, great views of night time NY, great ambiance, and dancing with a wonderful man who introduced himself and asked me to dance. His name was Alex Martinez, a vice-president of RCA (but he lived in Chicago,and well that was that.) I love to dance, and Alex knew ballroom dancing, so I was very charmed by him. He gallantly asked my father to let me spend the rest of the evening with him, and Dad said ok. Alex took me to Rodney Dangerfield's new nightclub, and we saw Dangerfield's last set of comedy at 2 am. Now this was total serendipity, because Mom and Dad hadn't planned this, of course. In the "city that doesn't sleep", neither did I. I got back to my room after seeing the sunrise with Alex, just in time to shower and be ready to go on a sightseeing tour with my parents, seeing the Statue if Liberty, Empire State Building and the Rockettes (my dad's idea - hmmmm) and lunch at Stage deli. Last of all we went shopping one day at Macy's and Sak's. I had to get a photo of me standing in front of Tiffany's, but I didn't go in. I know my parents were very extravagant with me, and I 'll never forget this first time in that great city. I loved the trip, and my parents were right. I forgot how miserable I had been, and I was immersed in the NY experience, and even had a little romance. Obviously, I have never forgotten that very exuberant 7 days.

Mythical

Why are mythical creatures and " other- worldly " creatures so fascinating to me? I especially find the imaginative dragon lore very compelling reading( oddly, I usually don't care much for reptilian or serpentine traits).Partly, I am enthralled, because I was born in the Chinese year of the dragon(1952). I first heard "Puff the Magic Dragon", sung by Peter, Paul and Mary when I was around 9 years old. I fantasized that I could have a pet dragon, and it would be benign, manageable and loyal.( I didn't know until much later that this song supposedly had veiled references to marijuana smoking.)The adversarial dragon doesn't appeal to me, nor the story line where the hero slays the evil creature, e.g., Bilbo Baggins or St. George. I do like the Eragon stories and the dragons of "Ice and Fire" and "Harry Potter "; they're deadly but somewhat controllable by their "master." I especially wish that I could ride them while they're flying, and for that matter, I would have loved to have ridden on Pegasus' back or Aslan's back or Chiron's back. Another mythical creature that appeals to me is the mermaid/ merman( the only concept that I appreciated about the disastrous " Waterworld"). Now this is going to sound profane, but when I was younger I thought it would be wonderful to mate with an angel.I know that is why I loved the movies with John Travolta as Michael and Nicholas Cage as Seth.( insert pregnant pause - no pun intended- here.) I also would like to meet aliens and hope they are benevolent not malevolent. All of the aforementioned contribute to my extreme interest in science fiction, fantasy and mythology. I have many friends,family and colleagues, however, who dislike those genres. To each her own, but I feel my imagination is the richer for it.

F.D.

Happy Father's Day to all the dads I know, especially my husband, the loving father of my children.I was blessed to have a stupendous dad , and my children have also been blessed to have such a superlative father. The important role of fatherhood should never be undervalued. I am taking a couple of days off from writing to be with just that beautiful man.

U.S. Beauty

From sea to shining sea and all 50 states, the United States has incredible scenery and unforgettable sights.Truly spectacular, not- to- be- missed, natural places of beauty in the U.S.which defy adequate expression: Grand Canyon, 17 mile drive from Pebble Beach,Niagara Falls,Glacier Bay,Wisconsin Dells, Isle Royale, Lake Michigan,Kaanapali coast, Mammoth Cave, sequoias,Rocky Mountains,Hawaii's volcanoes , the Keys' coral, an every major national park( I have seen most of them, fortunately, thanks to my parents.)Manmade wonders:monuments of Washington DC, the Smithsonian, Vegas strip hotels, Disney World, Mt.Rushmore , Mesa Verde,Mackinaw Bridge,Biltmore Estate, Hearst Castle, San Diego Zoo, Sea World, Hoover Dam,Memphis Botanical Gardens,Frank Lloyd Wright's architecture,Erie Canal, Soo Locks, Napa vineyards ,3D IMAX theaters.... These are all magnificent places I have visited,and I'm sure I've forgotten a few at this moment that I've seen, and I'm also certain that some people may have different ideas and/ or additions for their list of the US " wonders ". In any case, I would revisit any of the above mentioned in a heartbeat, especially the National Parks such as: Hawaiian Volcanoes,Grand Canyon(OMG),Redwoods, Yellowstone , Great Smoky Mountains, and Denali.Also, Niagara Falls is a state park not a national park, but it is a truly breathtaking wonder. So much beauty, so little time, lots of audible gasps to be had. Go see any one of these places, especially those of the great outdoors. I guarantee they are jaw dropping, and so impressive that they will make indelible, vivid memories. They are superlative experiences, and you do not need a passport.

Courtesy

I went to the local library yesterday, and I was taken aback by how many people were talking loud enough to be distracting,some men eating sandwiches, the chldren who were literally running around, teenagers who were chatting on their phones,a young boy who was crying. It seemed so unnerving and the opposite of a calm atmosphere I expect in such a place. Didn't anyone else- like the librarians - think this was rude, uncivilized and unnecessary? Many of the adults were on computers, for whatever reason, and a smattering were looking at periodicals. I did not see one person near the book shelves, except me. I felt like I was in a hotel lobby, and I felt outdated, like the rows of untouched reference books. ( Yes, I do have a Kindle.) I am old school, in a harried, tech world, I guess, where decorum and manners are relegated to a far back seat. The realization wasn't new; I recognized that the last few years I was teaching, because so many students were more preoccupied with smart phones and IPods than with classroom learning.It isn't the tech explosion that bothers me per se, it's the antisocial, self- absorbed behavior.All ages are guilty. Some adults leave their cell phones on during Sunday worship;they talk during a movie at the theatre;they let their kids misbehave in restaurants. If someone speaks up, the parent/ adult is affronted, as if he/ she did nothing wrong. Also,last month, I sent high school and college graduation cards and gifts to quite a few people. Out of the 10 gifts sent, I have received three lovely thank you notes. That's 30%. What about an email, text, or call to let me know the package was received- let alone a cursory thank you? All this lack of courtesy disappoints me.Is a polite society outmoded? It shouldn't be. (Some of this I have already mentioned in my "pet peeves" post from 3/25.)

Faith

I am a Christian with a Methodist bent. I have friends who are atheists , agnostics, Buddhists,Muslims, etc. I am tolerant of other people's beliefs even though I do not agree with them, because after all, who am I to judge? I don 't proselytize, and this is contrary to what many Christians believe. Certainly, if somebody wants my opinion, I will express my certitude of the Trinity and the power of prayer.I believe in Miracles. Worship is vital for me, and I am thankful for Grace. I have studied the major world religions and have a cursory understanding of them. I have listened to the scientific logic of atheists and their views of Mythology. I don't want to argue, although I supposedly am called to do this.Do I feel that religions have inherent contradictions in them? Yes. Do I discount the Bible, because of inconsistencies and hyperbole? No. I do not accept the Old Testament verbatim ( I guess that would be sacrilegious and blasphemous). The Bible is sacred text to me, and the people who wrote these words down are good intentioned and inspired, but imperfect humans-as we all are- who were selective (the Apocrypha). The Book is filled with beautiful language and wonderful stories,but I also accept the gospels and epistles as true.I am intrigued by the book of Revelation, and I have heard many pastors, Doctors of Theology, scholars and lay persons, interpret it,but subjectivity is evident.I do not discount the Book of Morman; it also has beautiful text. Sometimes I have thought about going to Methodist seminary, but I have heretical thoughts , so that isn't my calling. I do think it's important to be kind, charitable, helpful and compassionate; no matter what my friends'and family's religious attitudes, this is something we find as common ground. I love them; they love me, and I know that is the main thing, after all is said and done.

Living in France

During Summer 1969, I was staying with the Nicholas family in Wihr-en-Plaine, near Colmar, in Alsace, France.What a summer of excitement, adventure and unpredictability for a 16 year old, naive girl whose dream of being an exchange student was being realized."Firsts" abounded: flying, traveling outside the U.S.,and, most significantly, traveling alone.I thought I had sufficiently prepared for the language challenge, having taken classroom French since 8th grade.Wrong. French people spoke fast, slurring words and using lots of slang, compounded by the German influence found in the Alsatian region.Once, I thought I was ordering raspberry ice cream at a local restaurant, but I got a glass of very strong Framboise liquor instead. I had pronounced "glace" ( accent mark needed here) incorrectly. I was too embarrassed to send it back, so I drank it.Ooh la la.( legal drinking at 14, apparently).The Nicholas home had been in their family over 100 years, and was in actuality, an estate.In fact, it had been a Nazi headquarters during the French occupation.There were 10 bedrooms in 3 wings, a wine cellar, a bomb shelter, a vineyard, large garden, courtyard, a 5 car garage which used to be a horse stable, and - another first for me- I had my own bedroom and my own bed. This, in itself, was a big deal for me, because I had always shared a small bedroom and bed with my sister. They had a couple of workers come to the house every day,a man to work outside, and his wife who helped clean and cook. It felt like a resort to me, and without a lot of chores, a real vacation. I did help in the garden and with the grape vines, but that was fun to me , since I had never done that in Michigan.Also, I had two jobs every day. I would go across the road to the closest neighbor, about a half mile walk, and get 2 large buckets of fresh milk, by milking a dairy cow. The first time I milked a cow, I was totally inept, and frankly weirded out. The Nicholas household used a lot of milk,cream and cheese , and it was all unpasteurized. My second daily task was to walk about a mile to the bread shop and get the daily supply of assorted breads that my "French" mother, Nanette,wanted. Eventually, I was allowed to drive one of the cars (I crashed one of their Porsches once). This was a relief to my legs and arms.Many weekends, Nanette would take me to different local places to " sightsee". I even got to see other parts of France as well as Germany and Switzerland. All in all , I had a remarkable, unforgettable, life-changing experience. I had tea time every afternoon ( Nan was part British), and drank wine with our evening meal. The only time I watched TV was when we went to a party at one of their friend's home to watch the U.S. Moon landing. I have left out a very important detail , which could be a post unto itself.I experienced that feeling of first love, young love. Jean- Marc Nicholas, Nanette's son, was twenty at the time, and we became inseparable.He made hand carved furniture, loved making wine, and he had a true joie de vivre. He would try to speak English; I would speak French as best I could.I would watch him passionately work at times, and marveled at his skill. I , who had initially been quite homesick, didn't want to go back to the States, because I truly was extraordinarily happy. But, eventually,I did go back home, and I was sad for quite a while. I realized that I had romanticized all of my time in France, and although I corresponded with Jean- Marc for months,I never saw him again. It has been 44 years, but that time in France left an indelible mark on my development: my love of French food and wine, my love of traveling and seeing other cultures,my love of trying new things, being independent and self- reliant, and loving and being loved. That's a lot for a short time,and I haven't told the half of it.

"The Bell Blinks" , a poem in sentence form

Love fast, love not! Blue shroud on clothesline. Tigers breathe. And Wind abates. Hour glass empties its tears. Coffee grounds from valley's shadow. Save slow, save not! Mendacity lurks. Unhinged doors and shuttered windows. Broken clock with bone fragments. Frayed edges and yellowed pages. Torn photo, a blood smeared remnant. Pace hard, pace not! Cracked, gilded mirror. Mildewed basement boxes. Petrified wings. And spent erasers. Static music's scarred hands. Stare soft, stare not! Melted candle on doorstep. Lions gasp. And rain pummels. Burning sofa smiles its pain. Silver shards pitted and tarnished. Feign long, feign not! Fatuous thoughts. The bell blinks. Quinces rotting with gnats. Songs cease crying. Dried out pens.Flew high, flew not!

Pills

My son thinks that my pill holders are a sign of aging, and they are , I suppose. They're these little cases that have the days of the week on them, and I have two of them, so I only sort out my medicine every other week. I think it saves me time and annoyance, but I understand that it obviously means I have ongoing medicine to take. It's a blessing that my children and husband don't take medicine regularly; they are thankfully very healthy.Life has been kind to them so far. I know plenty of children and adults who take lots of medicine, and are very sick, and pill holders are not large enough to handle all their meds. So,I take the pills and am grateful that I don't take more and that they are all low dosages. I take Diovan for blood pressure,Vytorin for cholesterol, a multivitamin, CoQ10, Glucosomine Condrotin, calcium, and a baby aspirin.I really only need to take the first two medicines I mentioned; the rest of them I choose to use.I feel true sympathy for people with chronic illnesses like my young nephew who has severe arthritis, or my sister-in-law who has debilitating diabetes. I have a very dear friend who has Stage 3 bone cancer. Now that is true sickness, and her chemo is grueling. I certainly can't complain about my state of health,and I don't mind the pill holders. I do probably take too much Tylenol, because I get bad headaches, and I've worn eyeglasses with a strong prescription since I was seven.Nevertheless, I have great quality of Life. For that, I am thankful.

Irony

I seem to be full of contradictions.I prefer to sleep nude, but I don't have a very good body image. I enjoy a clean house, but I don't want to clean it.Gluten is anathema to my body, but I crave pasta and bread. I yearn for traveling; I hate to get in the car and drive to the store. Kids are great; I just don't have the patience to be around them very long.I love to hear music, but I rarely listen to any when I'm home. I really want and need to talk to my friends, but I loathe the phone. I am so happy at the beach, but I hate swimming in the ocean.I enjoy bright colored clothes; I usually wear black.I like variation, but I always sit at the same place at the dinner table, and the same place for TV. I don't want to be around real life drama queens, but I've watched a soap opera for over 30 years(Days of our Lives)- cheesy but true. I have a lot of jewelry; I rarely wear it.Politics enthrall me; I don't want to get into heated conversations about it.I love horses; I'm afraid to ride them. I appreciate getting "dressed up", but I can't wait to get undressed.I like to take photos; I don't like to have my picture taken. Freebies are great, but I can spend too much money on something I want to do - like dinner at a fine dining restaurant.I believe in the power of prayer; I 'm lax about it.I love my husband, but often disagree with him.It's wonderful to help people, but I don't like to ask for help. I sing in a choir; I have a sub par voice. I love books; I read my Kindle. I could go on ad nauseam. I like to believe I have it " all together," but I can be a mess. This is the irony that is my life.

Zelda

As our children are growing up, we become acquainted with ideas, games, toys, shows, etc. , that, in all likelihood, we,as adults, wouldn't make time for otherwise. My son was born in 1991; I was 39. I took him to Gymboree, and had as much fun as he did, I think. We watched the premiere of "Barney" and "Thomas the Tank Engine", and he became enthralled, and so did I. " Sesame Street" fascinated me! I'm glad I could resurrect my inner child. Adam joined gymnastics, soccer and tennis,and I was the proud mama on the sidelineS. Adam had an extreme interest in Beanie Babies, Power Rangers and Pokemon. Would I have cared one way or the other about these things, if I hadn't seen all this through my son's eyes - and eventually my daughter's? Probably not. Reading with my children was a pure delight.I will always joyfully think of " Where the wild things are" and the "Narnia " series,Robin Hood, Peter Pan, Arthur and Merlin, and later, Harry Potter. A very old video game called "Blazing Dragons" grabbed hold of both of us, and that leads me to the " Zelda" video franchise. Adam loved this series of games, and, of course, Link was an obsession. He had to dress up in a Link costume for Halloween. I liked " Ocarina of Time", but then I only superficially followed the games, because Adam would play them. He liked " Majora's Mask." Fast forward to last night. Adam and I attended the concert, "Zelda: Symphony of Goddesses". It was an extraordinarily fine event.The symphony musicians were exceptionally talented and the visuals of 25 years of different Zelda story lines were both nostalgic and beautifully crafted.It was a multi- sensual experience we both truly enjoyed. We have gone to orchestral concerts often, but this symphony's composition was over the top. Two harps, grand piano, two xylophones constantly being played.All the instruments of the orchestra were included, but each section had many players. For instance, there were 6 French horns, 4 bassoons,etc. It was as if two complete symphony orchestras were combined to make exquisite music, along with the beautiful choir members.It really was a thrilling evening of wonderful entertainment. Honestly, it was one of the best concerts I have ever attended, but if I had never been exposed to the Zelda world, I would not have put this concert on my radar, and I would have missed out on a truly marvelous night , and the best part of this was sharing with my Adam. I'm glad he is a nerd like I am. Pure bliss.

PreK

Vacation Bible School ( VBS) occurs every summer for a week at my church and hundreds of churches across the nation.This week, I am currently teaching the preK age kids, for a couple of hours each morning,who are so adorable, innocent and loving.These tiny youngsters have authentic smiles, giggles and joy, and they constantly want to hug me. How can I have a bad day when I'm around these happy kids? I guess these children see me as a grandma figure, and I have to say being a grandparent must be "grand" indeed, although I'll have a while to wait for that experience. I am having fun seeing the world through this young perspective. "Why would we need a wall around a city?" I ask. " So we can build tunnels," answered little Gavin. Another question: " Who would like to tell me why it's important to be kind?" Alexis says, " so my daddy's car will stay clean." Another question I asked was,"who would like to tell us about a pet you have?" Little Kate jumps up and yells, "I do! " That was it; she sat back down,and didn't say another word.I still don't know what kind of pet she has. However, my personal favorite answer so far this week was from Jon,a shy boy who surprised everyone, I think. When asked to point out something " red" in the room", Jon pulled down his shorts and showed us his red underwear. This is classic stuff....I have two days left to hear some more really good answers....

Detente

I am, for the most part, socially moderate and fiscally conservative when it comes to Politics. I won't argue with friends and family if we have differing viewpoints, because they are entitled to have their opinions; I'm entitled to have mine.Our political parties are different sides of the same coin it seems,with both Democrats and Republicans disappointing me frequently. I'm cynical when it comes to government "scandals". So many career politicians, from whichever side of the aisle, are corrupt. The scandal du jour is always like a ping pong match. I have ennui when the talking heads come on the news - their heads should be spinning around like in the "exorcist".Honestly, I'm skeptical of so many politicians and the media as well. I loathe certain tv personalities who feel like they are political experts and they abhor anyone or anything from their opposite political viewpoint. Examples:Sean Hannity is so vocally anti-Obama, I can't listen to him. Chris Matthews is so blatantly anti- conservative that he is a joke.You may like these men, and that is your choice, but they appear very biased and entrenched in their viewpoints to me. Everybody seems to dig in heels and not much gets achieved, decades of abuse of power - no end in sight. I have always voted, but I am ambivalent about doing it anymore.I'm truly tired of voting for the lesser of two evils.

"Ice and Fire"

It's 1 am, and I can't sleep.I've been thinking about tonight's marvelous episode of "Game of Thrones."There is no need to give a spoiler alert, because I won't give anything away that I know from George RR Martin's book series "Ice and Fire." The show gets its name from the first book's title in the I&F series,which will be, supposedly, seven books.Martin is currently still finishing book six.So far, HBO has been very faithful to Martin's plot lines, and what is not to love about the casting of Peter Dinklage? I am loving this show, and am riveted, even though I know what will eventually occur.One or two episodes go by, and you might begin to think " nothing much happened tonight" and then -pow- a real surprise turn of events.That's exactly how Martin sets his reader up. Don't get too lulled into thinking any main character is safe ( Ned is dead!) surprises- How can you forget the episode when Dani walks out of the fire, or when Ned is executed, or when Dani, now Khaleesi , takes charge of the Unsullied, or tonight, which in the books is referred to as the "Red Wedding." I liked Robb - you get connected and then the rug is pulled out from under you.If you love this genre you really must read Martin.Just know his books are very lengthly, sometimes 1500 pages.His writing style is unique , encompassing many 3rd person limited points of view.He has a staggering number of characters,and some people don't like his writing or the show for that reason. The many characters, numerous plot lines and surprise twists are exactly why I love GoT. And the wit...brilliant one liners by Tyrion for instance, make for compelling reading and viewing. I haven't played the offshoot game yet, but I want to try it. I am waiting with baited breath for next week's finale. Don't count the Starks out yet, Mr. Snow.

New recipes

I rarely stick with New Year's resolutions, but so far I am still good on this year's vow to make at least one new recipe a week ( even the week after my surgery). Maybe because it is only one time a week I cook something I haven't made before that I am persevering, but I think it has more to do with trying to be a little more creative.I've been mainly doing this on Sunday evenings, because the whole family can be together. They are my guinea pigs, but actually, the attempts have been, for the most part, successful.Today I am preparing Cornish game hen with Apricot and wine glaze, and I also have made a praline sauce to go over coffee ice cream. I made homemade hummus, banana bread and pilaf, but I have made those before. Three new soups I have conquered so far: squash and coconut soup, French onion soup, and Beef burgundy.New appetizers are: chantilly mushroom and Brie focaccia, pate and goat cheeses tartlets, gruyere fondue and - if I do say so myself- some darn fine ceviche( a risky endeavor that paid off). Some new tasty salads were beet and arugula with marinated hearts of palm, grapefruit and endive and taboulley to the nines.I cooked a roman artichoke dish, a kugel side dish, and one of my favorites - stuffed jumbo pasta shells with spinach and ricotta layered with a honey and cream sauce. I made the Mustard's restaurant recipe for Lemon Meringue Pie and that, I admit, needs tweaking. In 22 weeks I've made at least 24 new recipes,and I'm out of a cooking rut. I also have made some family favorites that I haven't made in over a year: Lamb and okra with pomegranate sauce, kebobs, kousa( summer squash, parsley and eggs), stuffed French toast( filled with strawberries and mascarpone), boudin sausage and dirty rice, Napoli lasagna, chicken divan with broccoli, Bouchon corks with raspberry chocolate sauce, and some huge Reuben sandwiches.Now, I started this post by saying, "one time a week". I couldn't and wouldn't do this gourmet wannabe cuisine every day. We have " normal" food like burgers and hot dogs, PBJs, chili, tacos, etc. It is just fun to do something different, and a lot less money than eating some of these dishes at restaurants. Nevertheless, my favorite thing to make is reservations,.

Books

As a retired high school World Lit teacher, it probably is surprising that I haven't talked about the myriad of books I've read, discussed, taught, savored,dismissed, reread, pondered, etc., but the canon of lit is so vast that I am humbled by the mere fact that there is so much I haven't read. I made myself a goal since retiring to read at least one work by each of the Nobel Laureates,and that would only be the Twentieth and Twenty- first centuries, but it's certainly challenging, nevertheless.What I have found out about myself is that I am familiar with European and American writers, but not so "worldly" otherwise. I am trying to rectify that dearth of knowledge, but I get easily sidetracked. I'm reading some of the Nobel winners from Asia- beautiful, haunting , translated poets - whose names I can't pronounce.I recognize that I have a Eurocentric perspective. I certainly have a penchant for Eliot, Sartre, Camus, Beckett, Mann, Hesse, Kertesz, and the Russians,of course.I love Marquez and Paz,but haven't read too much of South American lit. So I'm going to concentrate my reading on writers from continents other than North America and Europe for a while.At least I won't need to concern myself with Antarctica. 3 down, a very large 4 to go.