Somnambulism

Somnambulism, more commonly known as sleepwalking occurs in about 8 % of children ages 8-13. Well, I was a sleepwalker around the age of 12.I don't remember when it first started but once my parents knew about it, they monitored me, and I was definitely finished with sleepwalking by 13.5 years of age. The most serious problem is the potential for injury. Once, I was found outside in the middle of the night, and I was barefoot in the snow wearing just a nightgown. It was January, and the reason my dad found me was that I had left the front door open. He woke me up, but I was a bit disoriented and couldn't remember why I was there. Another time I was at my grandma's house and she found me in the kitchen. I had turned the oven on, and the only thing that I could remember about being in the kitchen was that I wanted to help my mom cook Thanksgiving dinner( It was July.)Much more is known now about parasomnia ( sleep disorders) than in 1964, but the doctors then just recommended parental vigilance and monitoring. I think Mom and Dad must have tag teamed. Just one more thing for them to handle with 4 children.I felt like a freak and became very anxiety ridden when I was supposed to go to sleep at night. I din't sleepwalk every night. Mom told me I did it once every week or so. I'm surprised that I never bothered my sister who shared a bed with me. Sleepwalking occurs apparently during slow wave sleep as opposed to REM sleep. Before the onset of sleepwalking, I was susceptible to extreme nightmares/ night terrors. Interestingly, about this time I was evaluated and found to have an above normal IQ of 132. It was found that either very low IQ people or higher iQ people tended to be sleepwalkers.Also, very few sleepwalkers are violent, and usually it is an adult sleepwalker concern. Again this didn't give me any solace,because I wasn't " normal" in my mind,and , of course, most middle school kids just want to fit in. I was so embarrassed by my parasomnia, I never told any of my friends about it. Coincidentally, I had an outbreak of large boils on my back at this time and I started my first period. I became extremely self- conscious and insecure.Consequently, the stress can exacerbate the sleep walking- kind of a vicious cycle. Well, all's well that ends well as the Bard would say, and this too eventually passed. It took me a while to enjoy sleeping again, but eventually I did. In fact, I have very vivid dreams( another post sometime), and I can fall asleep rather easily.It has been almost 50 years since this episode in my life, so I no longer worry that I will sleep perchance to walk.

IVF

The roller coaster of a ride known as in- vitro fertilization proved for me to be the perfect meld of science and religion.25 years ago, ivf was still not commonplace, and I was in the program for almost 18 months before I finally was able to have any eggs extracted. Perseverance and faith saw me through; it was an expensive saga that obviously had a miraculous conclusion. I was fortunate,but so many women who I met, that were in the program at the same time,did not.The acronym ART (assisted reproductive technology)makes me smile. Creation certainly is art at its finest.N'est-ce pas? We joked that we should name the boy "Petri" or the girl "Petra". Of course, I liked the name Adam, reminding me of the Sistine Chapel and God's touch. I drove about 50 miles round trip every other day to have: blood drawn, hormone treatments,medical tests, counseling, etc., and meanwhile I prayed for a viable outcome.Some months looked hopeful but there was always something that kept the extraction from happening.Finally, the stars aligned and in May 1990, coincidentally around Mother's Day, three eggs were extracted from my ovary (I only had one ovary). One egg was polyspermic meaning more than one sperm pierced the egg; that had to be discarded. One egg was judged to be post mature ( too old) , and it, too, was discarded.Did you know that if you're over 35 you have a geriatric uterus?I digress. The last egg was "perfect", and Al and I have photos of Adam at 4cells and 16 cells before he was implanted in my uterus. The statistic at the time was an 18% rate for successful pregnancy , and so an excruciating period of waiting occurred, but we found out about a month later, that yes I was indeed pregnant. Another rare procedure at that time was amniocentesis( at about 5 months ) and we knew as a result that Adam appeared normal.It was the only time the doctors (I had a team of them)wanted me to have a glass of wine "to help relax the womb" they said. Also, I love the ultrasound photos - one showing Adam sucking his thumb! The pregnancy was one of the happiest times of my life, and another was certainly when I first held Adam in my arms.

Flowers

Flowers, the universal symbol of love, bring to mind the happiest and the saddest of occasions. Each flower's scent and appearance recall intense memories, and ultimately, I smile. One of my favorite flowers is the gardenia, luminously white with an exquisite fragrance.Gardenias set on the church altar for my wedding. Also,they were my mother's favorite flower; she carried them for her wedding bouquet.When mom died, my sister and I bought gardenias for the funeral. I pressed one of those flowers in the family Bible. Whenever I see a gardenia or smell a perfume or soap made with it, I fondly remember my dearest mother. Another favorite flower of mine is the yellow rose which represents one of my sororities, Beta Sigma Phi, and that flower in all its shades, always brightens my day. Yes, I know that fresh cut flowers eventually decay, but I truly enjoy having them in the house. That said, I also enjoy the silk bouquets and arrangements which I still have, marking births,deaths, illness,etc. My sister made my bridal bouquet of cream and lavender colored silk flowers , and I treasure it as a keepsake. After all, I have a brown - not green- thumb. In addition, over the years, I have received many beautiful bouquets from Alfredo. After 40 years together I can't count them all. They just blur into one big smile of love. So you can imagine how much I enjoy going to the botanical gardens. It's lush and the abundance of flora is stunning and beautiful. I especially like sitting in the serene Japanese Garden, and the truly lovely orchid conservatory takes my breath away.By the way, orchids alway make me think of my favorite cartoon strip when I was growing up ,"Brenda Starr ". I loved the mysterious, debonair character Basil St.John who wore a patch on his eye and grew black orchids. Orchids, so elegant and delicate, also remind me of my first time in Hawaii when I received an exquisite orchid lei upon arrival. I also had a bouquet of bird of paradise when I got to my room.Now there is an exceptional flower. Lilacs remind me of my parents' backyard. Wisteria and magnolias shout Georgia. Tulips give me Michigan thoughts.Hibiscus reminds me of Mexico and Colombia. And dandelions were the first "flowers" I would pick for my mommy when I was a tyke. Ah, what wonderful memories are tied to flowers. I even enjoy taking flowers to the cemetery , a way of honoring my deceased loved ones; I find that experience joyful not maudlin.Some people see getting or giing flowers as a cliche and overused gift, but I guess I feel like you can never have too much beauty surrounding you and your senses. However,I rarely buy flowers for myself, so I'm going to the market tomorrow and get some.

Coffins- a memoir

The surreal experience of grief shopping for the perfect coffin proved overwhelming.Linda knew the horrible, self- imposed reponsibility required an untapped strength that she wasn't sure could be mustered, and while staring at the many rows of possible choices of caskets,she heard herself deeply sighing, and her tears wouldn't stop. This was almost as excruciating as identifying her young husband's body at the impersonal morgue earlier that day. Will seeing his embalmed body be even worse, she mulled. Interrogation lighting and a warehouse feel- such was the lower level- appropriately- of the modest funeral home where Cliff's body would be displayed, a decidedly unabashed showroom for the mortuary business. What an undertaking ,she thought,and smiled at herself. Each displayed coffin had a price tag on it, and the prim and proper funeral director said in a monotone voice that he would be more than happy to work up a package deal for the entire funeral. She could see child sized coffins, extra long coffins, feminine coffins, expensive coffins,and a whole row of " suitable" mid-priced elegant coffins from which she finally chose a manly, polished cherrywood finished one.Then she picked out the interior satin cloth and color from the professional display on the pale blue wall( blue has a calming effect she recalled) and then there was the vault and the matter of the gravesite and internment and....Her brain began to shut down ; maybe the tranquilizer was working after all.Linda felt like she was furniture shopping for the dead ( Caskets Are Us), such a morbid ritual and one from which she derived no pleasure, but she felt strongly obliged to get it right for Cliff's sake, although it occurred to her that he was past caring about such things. Her mother used to say, "Funerals are for the living, you know." Linda didn't feel too alive right then. They had only been married 15 months, but the unthinkable happened, and here she was. She wanted to get into the coffin and see what it felt like, but the patient "salesman" said,"No", rather emphatically. " Why not? I'm paying for it," Linda protested. "It's just not done," he dismissively stated. She was too exhausted to argue any further. She had made her purchase decision and just wanted to get out of there, but there were papers to sign, and the viewing room to see, and whether she wanted open casket or closed,details ad nauseum, which Linda's father, who had driven her to the funeral home, took care of.She was grateful for that, because she no longer could focus.Her dad had experience in these somber matters, but at age Twenty , she had none.She kept thinking about what clothes Cliff would want to wear in that box, but she found some small comfort in the fact that he wouldn't be wearing socks and shoes ; when he was at home, he never did. Would his feet get cold, she wondered, and a little voice whispered," Of course not, silly!" Linda suddenly began to get agitated and angry- so the pill wasn't working- and she had an overwhelming urge to vomit. She got to the bathroom just in time. Afterward, she noticed some photos on the wall that reminded her of the book "Wisconsin Death Trip." Shouldn't the wall art in a funeral home at least make the pretense of being cheerier than that? She had a feeling of claustrophobia just then, but thought about how small, in comparison, that coffin would be for the body inside it. She had to get some fresh air, so she ran outside only to see a huge black hearse setting in front of the building, as if waiting for its next occupant. Linda decided at that moment that she would make sure everyone would know she wanted to be cremated.

Hiatus

Taking a break from the blog until the 28th. Ciao.

Poetry

April is National Poetry Month. This always excites me, but I must say, poetry doesn't appeal to many of my friends or at least I'm not aware of it. In fact, one of my close friends with whom I taught Literature, doesn't like the genre at all and ranks poetry way down the list of items she enjoyed teaching - even below subject/ verb agreement and active voice. Yeats, Cummings,Tennyson, Browning, Eliot, etc.,and my main man Shakespeare- their words are magical to me, giving me inspiration and filling me with awe.I'll never forget the first time I read Christina Rosetti's poem "Goblin Market", so provocative and evocative. I couldn't wait to put it on my syllabus to teach.in fact, that poem inspired me to do a whole unit on women poets: Browning, Plath,Angelou, Dickinson,Mistral, Hahn,Nin, St. Vincent Millay and Rosetti, of course. If you haven't read some of these writers, do yourself a favor and luxuriate in their emotive words.Four other poets have influenced my thinking immensely: T.S. Eliot, Alfred Lord Tennyson (coincidentally I grew up on Tennyson Street )King David, and William Shakespeare. I relish reading Eliot's "Hollow Men", " Prufrock", "The Waste Land"( what a challenge); Tennyson's "Maud" and "Lady of Shallot"; David's psalms,and Shakespere's sonnets and "Venus and Adonis.My world has been the better for having these poets in it.

Adornments

I don't wear much jewelry, and I don't wear make up too often, although I used to do so a lot in my twenties and thirties. I always wear my small, pierced earrings, and I wore a watch daily too until last June when I retired. I don't even wear rings too often, including my wedding ring. I just don't want to be bothered I guess,and it really seems unnecessary on a weekly basis. My idea of putting on make up these days is wearing lipstick. It is a kind of a personal feminist view I've rather developed . Less is more and natural is good - for me. To each her own. If others want to wear whatever, well,that's fine. Still,I do go back and forth about getting a small tattoo, still deciding, so I haven't done it. Sure I like the girlie stuff: perfume, manis and pedis,etc., but when you think about it , it's all first world stuff.

Astronomy

I love the night sky. Looking at stars, planets, constellations, et.al., makes me happy and it's relaxing. The vastness of space is awesome and amazing,and I 've been curious about astronomy since I was a kid. It was one of my minors in college, and I loved to go to Ann Arbor's observatory.Consequently, I'm also fascinated with planetariums.The problem with where I currently live is there is often too much light pollution and the city isn't dark enough for star gazing. One of my best experiences was just last year in Hawaii on Mauna Kea. Spectacular( but very cold) and breathtaking. Tomorrow night( 4/22) is a new moon, and coincidentally there should be a stunning Lyrid meteor shower most of the late night, so the moonless night should make for good viewing here in Georgia. I hope so. Many times I've gone outdoors for an anticipated stellar event only to be disappointed. I have yet to see the Northern Lights - on my bucket list. Some viewings demand travel, so I hope to go way north one of these years for prime observing of that incredible display. I don't think I could be an astronaut, however, even though I have fantasized about it; I get motion sickness in cars, let alone spacecraft and G force. Maybe one day they'll figure out how to take people into space without the motion problem, kind of astral projection so to speak. Beam me up Scotty!

Photos

If you are reading this, I would like you to send me an email attachment of one of your favorite photos of yourself ( semi- current). I look forward to seeing what I get... Lindaorfale@yahoo.com. You'll make my day.The thousand words thing you know.... I miss my family and friends so much! And Thank You in advance.

Migraines

I have a migraine. Enough said, so I am going to lie down with the room darkened and no noise. Lots of peoplE in my family have migraines, and my sister even has to give herself shots for them. Not only are migraines a huge inconvenience because they are debilitating, they are enervating and painful; sometimes I also vomit from having one. There are headaches, and then there are migraines. If you've never had one, let alone chronically, you are lucky.After I got pregnant with Adam, I stopped having them for almost 8 years, but then they came back with a vengeance with post menopause. Maybe hormones have something to do with it, maybe not. Anyway, I'm glad I don't work today.I really don't function too well when I'm like this; I feel like I'm losing brain cells.

Students

I will be judging senior projects today and then will be meeting up with some former students for dinner. I will also be proctoring AP exams in May and going to a couple of graduation " parties." I enjoy keeping in touch with these young people, and I appreciate their kind words and invitations. You know, many teachers don't feel that their students show any gratitude for teaching efforts- and it is hard work- but I must say I have been fortunate to have some wonderful ex-students who keep me updated on their lives. In fact, I will be going to a couple of weddings of former students this summer; I'm really looking forward that. It is wonderful when the generational divide is crossed.

Anniversary( of sorts)

I started my blog one month ago with the hope that I would write more regularly to see if I can work up to writing a novella which will take a lot more discipline than writing paragraphs for a post. Carving out time every day is an issue for me ( the same can be said about my exercising) but I enjoy writing , although my blog thus far is rather narcissistic. The concept of a blog as an "open" diary or journal is fine except I really am not going to expose my skeletons in the proverbial closet, a reason which has prevented me from going into politics, which I will love from the sidelines.Nevertheless, the act of getting my thoughts on "paper" is a good mental exercise and good for the soul. I write my posts more for myself than others,and since it is rather a self- centered endeavor, I don't expect for people to follow my every word, but I'm hopeful that my friends and family will get some insight into my psyche.Writing is an accountability to Truth.

Tragedies

The Boston Marathon, Newtown shootings,Fort Hood, etc. are so unexpected that we are rocked to our emotional core even though we cognitively know we live in an unpredictable and dangerous world. Living in the US, we can be lulled into complacency, because so much of the " bad" stuff happens elsewhere, and when we have these horrible events on our soil it still seems shocking and stunning. So far we haven't had to face daily or weekly horrors like so many other countries;it's hard to imagine the constant deadly threat of somewhere like Israel, Iraq and Afghanistan.So many soldiers come home with PTS, but we don 't expect to have that trauma on our soil.I think that as a whole we have been fortunate so far, although we all experience shared grief and vulnerability at a time like this.Nevertheless, I believe we will see more and more of these horrors in the US. We will find strength in God and each other because we have no option but to continue on.Murders,fatal accidents, freaky events happen every day, but it's a media frenzy when more than one person is involved because the serial or random nature of the tragedy can leave us saying to ourselves, " wow, that could have been me." We all feel personally affronted and involved. I can wrap my head around natural, random catastrophes like a tsunami , earthquake, or hurricane, even though they have a mind numbing death count. I can't wrap my head around the horrors of war or the intentional, evil infliction of pain and death on so many innocents. My dear brother was murdered at the age of 27, and Al's brother was murdered when he was in his 30's.You can not know the depth of that shock unless something like that has happened to you.It stays with you forever. I also was married for 15 months ( 1971-1973), when my husband was freakishly hit by a falling tree and died at the age of 22. I was 20 and devastated, but my life did not end. Time is the great equalizer, but I can't forget. I had to cope with it. Life then death, it's inevitable; we just don't like to think about it, until it happens.

Health

I don't feel well today, so I'm going to bed and taking a rest. I'm sure it is symptomatic of my parathyroid issue. In general, I feel really good, but the combination of post- menopause,my gland problem and my AARP age is a perfect storm right now. You know, I used to think - until I was around 50- that I would never talk about ailments, health issues , "moans, groans, and bones" the way I would hear the older folk do.Never is a long time.... I think it is a universal theme for the older generation ; moderate complaining seems ubiquitous. Really I don't have anything to gripe about considering I have many, many brave friends with very serious health diagnoses - bone cancer, MS, Guillian- barre, tumors, severe arthritis, Post- polio, broken backs,etc. When I hear myself whining, I stop and think of them and their courage. Also, I think about our wonderful soldiers and what they go through daily. In comparison, I am a wimp. Being healthy is a blessing; many of us take it for granted ; I know that I have. My mother died when she was 57. She had a very serious disease, Addison's Disease, which contributed to her death. I rarely heard her complain. My father died at 70 of adenocarcinoma; he was a stalwart guy, and died with dignity and no balking.My sister had polio when she was very young and I've always admired her resilience and feistiness. Their strong faith sustained them!I will try to take the lessons from their playbook.

Periodicals

I have an IPad and a Kindle, but I like to read actual print material. Al and I still subscribe to newspapers and magazines, so not only is that old school for many people because we could read them online,but, of course, the types of print say much about our interests and priorities. We get the "Wall Street Journal" six days a week.(I love Peggy Noonan's editorials) We get the" Atlanta Journal Constitution" and " Barron's" on weekends. Monthly periodicals are : "Prevention Health","Where to Retire","Wine Spectator","Bon Appetit", "Money" and "Travel and Leisure". We also have one year gift subscriptions to "O"(Oprah), "Vogue" and "People" which we won't renew.This is an eclectic collection, but sports magazines are noticeably absent. We like watching sports but don't really care about stats too much. These current subscriptions are about half the number that we used to have ,so we've cut down substantially, but we probably will continue to have a few on our coffee table unless they go the way of "Newsweek."

TV

During Lent, I gave up watching TV on weekdays.This was very difficult for me( but I did it).It isn't that I watch TV all day, because the shows I follow are in the evening, except for "Days of our Lives" which I DVR. I have watched it fairly regularly since my college years. Ok, I know "Days" is a soap opera , but when a person has followed a show for forty years, the loyalty is there. However, by recording it, I can watch what I want in about 15 minutes, because I only am interested in a few characters not all the plot lines. Someone might say,"Really, Linda?" but being a "Doolie" is somewhat like a guilty pleasure. Actually, I am a political and news junkie, so that was why I chose to give up TV for 40 days. It was refreshing actually, and now I am weaned for the most part from that obsession.To say that I am dismayed with our dysfunctional government is an understatement, but that is another blog post to write.Anyway, by not covering the news cycle minutiae, I have a better disposition.In any case, to say I "watch" TV is a kind of misnomer. I record my preferences, and choose when I want to see them - except HBO on Sunday- see below. Some nights there is nothing I regularly record( why is there a dearth on M, T, W, S?) For the most part, I don't like much network stuff, but I am an avid fan of "Big Bang Theory". That show makes me truly laugh out loud. Another network show I am being drawn to is "Hannibal." The casting is good for one thing, but I don't know how long I'll be interested.I am a Sunday night, 9 pm , HBO fanatic; it started with the "Sopranos" and "Six Feet Under." Right now it's "Game of Thrones".I love that show and especially Peter Dinklage. I've read Martin's books, and GoT is fairly faithful. Then there is "Boardwalk Empire" .I am so hooked. The other show I follow is on Showtime and that is "Dexter." So I guess you can say that I pretty much seem to enjoy programs with antihero roles. "True Blood" was a good show, in fact, the first season with vampire Bill. Which brings me to the point that if a show has bad writing,I just can't stick with it.Also, I don't care much for reality shows or talk shows- to each her own. Thanks toTV, I know more than I ever wanted to know about such things as swamp people, hoarders, Amish Mafia and a pathetic Honey Boo Boo. I do appreciate stations like PBS, NatGeo, History Channel, but I zone out with TCM. Old B/W classic movies are mothers' milk, opiates for movie junkies. Consequently, TV programming has something for everybody, but, except for the above mentioned , I prefer to read ( BTW, if you love GoT, read George Martin's superlative "Ice and Fire" series).

Home

Who doesn't love a thing of beauty as Keats would say? The whole eye- of - the - beholder stance is true enough, but Libras like me - if you believe all the astrological coincidences- seem to thrive and need beautiful surroundings.I must say that I appreciate the aesthetic balance of a room - I lean more toward symmetry than asymmetry.I like the whole Feng Shui approach to living, decorating, etc., but my husband and children,not so much. Herein lies an ongoing issue for me ;no one else in my household really cares. Now to be fair to Alfredo,his lifestyle preference is about cleanliness not beauty. He wants a clean kitchen and bathroom , not necessarily pretty spaces.He doesn't care about furniture or artwork or china or flowers or a myriad of other such things. If our bedroom just had our sleep number bed ( we both appreciate comfort) he'd be fine with that, as long as the sheets are clean. Why put a rug on the wood floor because that is more to keep clean? Truly I appreciate his way of being, because Al really helps tremendously with the ongoing daily chores of house and yard. Our house is very "lived in" as they say, and I try to have guests " feel at home". I don't equate expensive with beautiful, but the granite counters we got last year are so much lovelier than the clean but 20 year old laminate we had. I am not a neat freak, however,so I guess there's some cognitive dissonance going on there, a first world mentality, if you will.Gina, however, doesn't care about clean or beautiful when it comes to the house. Our modest home will never be in "Better Homes and Gardens " let alone " Architectural Digest", but I have worked long and hard, and can afford some home luxuries for comfort and for beauty. Al would just prefer the necessities. Now this has nothing to do with my husband being a tightwad; he isn't. I am thankful they he is a down- to - earth ,practical man about possessions; he doesn't have an expensive car or expensive hobbies. He just tries to take care of what he already has. When we both want some sensual, aesthetic diversion, we go to a lovely restaurant,take a walk in the woods, visit a museum or travel.Nevertheless, at home, we are the yin- yang thing and have been for almost forty years.So let me sign off and go get the linen napkins he washed, so I can use them for Bridge later today.

Michigan, part one

I was born and lived in Oakland County, Michigan for over 40 years. I knew almost every square inch of that area and pretty much the whole of the LP ( lower peninsula for non- Michiganders/ Michiganians), the UP not so much.In elementary school( in a once-thriving Pontiac) we were taught to hold up our right hand and point to the general area on the palm where we lived in the "Mitten".I truly love that state, not just because family and friends still live there - of course that's #1; there are so many reasons. I love that it is a four seasons state, although I was pretty much tired of Winter long before the Vernal equinox arrived. Each season is remarkable there, and let me just say as a travel advocate for MI, a great place to visit for a tourist. The Great Lakes are stupendous especially lakes Michigan and Superior, all the vastness of the oceans without the salt and sharks.In middle school and high school some summers I would go to Interlochen Music Camp and play cello in the beautiful outdoors.Interlochen is near Traverse City and that region is still a favorite of mine , and Michigan cherries from that area ( another peninsula called leelanau) are divine-the Cherry Hut for cherry pies is a destination unto itself. Another superlative destination is Mackinaw Island with its Grand Hotel. Oh some stories I could tell, but won't....Anyway, I used to love to cross the Mackinac Bridge ( pronounced the same as Mackinaw , yea idiosyncratic) and go to St Ignace in the UP and take the ferry from there to the island. The bridge is spectacular, and you know some of my friends would refuse to cross that bridge when we came to it.:))) If you've never been on that bridge, crossing it is a "wow" moment.Also, Michigan's National parks are stunning, and as far as the UP goes, that's mainly what I have visited there. Pictured Rocks and Isle Royale are jaw dropping. I know many, many people in the LP who have never seen these extraordinary places....it's a shame. Anyway,if I were to move back to Michigan, I think I'd live in the Ann Arbor area where U of M is located. I loved attending college there, even though I did my grad work at Oakland University,which is another great school. Rochester, where OU is, was my mother's birth place. My mom's side of the family has lived in Michigan for generations, and her sisters still live there.I have a plethora of relatives residing all over the state because my parents both came from very large families.I grew up in Pontiac ,where they made the cars ,and we all had Pontiacs, and we bought homes in Clarkston and Davisburg ( oh how I loved my home on 10 serene acres). Another cool thing about MI is its proximity to Canada, and I used to go to Canada at least once a month by either bridge or tunnel when border crossing wasn't a nightmare( Canada will be another post some time).Consequently, I miss Michigan's 6 F's:food,family,friends,festivities, Fall ( my favorite season), and fun. I certainly have sorely missed out on seeing the younger generations grow up.So sometimes I get nostalgic and consider moving back to Michigan, but I have lived in Georgia twenty years already, so it is unlikely that I will do so. It's like having dual citizenship - a loyalty to both places, each great in its own way. In fact, I have two teams I root for - the Detroit Tigers and the Atlanta Braves. Now I think I'll go and drink a Vernor's "pop" and eat some Michigan brand cottage cheese, while I look at vintage photos of some of my old haunting grounds.

Off line

I'm taking a blog time out until the 11th. My immediate " to do " list is very long.

Organizations

I have "belonged" to many organizations throughout my life.Some have been for a short time ; others have been very long associations.These affiliations have influenced me greatly, as I surmise is true for a majority of people.I guess it is human nature to want to belong and to find an assemblage of like-minded people for a particular purpose or interest.From a very young age, my parents encouraged my membership in 3 particular groups. Of course, the primary one was MYF ( Methodist Youth Fellowship), of which I became the president.I mention I was president not to "boast" per se but to show my level of commitment.You don't get to be an officer of an organization unless you WANT to be the nexus and work hard at it.However, in my case, once I've "been there, done that" I tend to move on and "join" another circle. The 2nd group my parents advocated was the American Legion auxiliary. My dad, being a vet, was an active member of the American Legion, and therefore, the children enjoyed the benefit of that membership. Dad's chapter had property with a lake, playground, camping,dining facilities and an entertainment venue.Needless to say, those components appealed to me. However, I didn't enjoy the weekly meetings for the kids- stodgy and banausic, so I never attempted to become an officer; I just wanted to go swimming.However, the whole family participated in this weekly event, so this tie provides many happy memories of family time.The 3rd prodding by Mom, was joining the Camp Fire Girls( member from 3rd to 5th grade)and Mom was the chapter's sponsor. Camp Fire Girls ( now called Camp Fire because it eventually became coed) is similar to Girl Scouts, but was never quite as well- known as GS. I really liked that Tribe or Troop identity and we collected beads- not patches for our accomplishments. I wanted to get all ten large beads( each large bead represented 10 smaller beads) of assorted colors. I achieved that goal, and then, I wanted to quit; I kept that necklace of beads.After these three involvements,I continued to find other groups to join.Oh and because of my Great Aunt Helen's persistence, I am a DAR member based on my family history on my Mom's side.In my 5th and 6th grades, I was in the Safety Patrol and became a lieutenant, so you can see that I was highly motivated. When I reminisce about this I understand now that this was rather like a fascist group (I admit that I was a naive, gullible lemming)in which I excelled.I realize that I liked the idea and ability to " control" other kids' behavior, which must have been the genesis of my classroom management style. As the saying goes, a little bit of power can be dangerous. Fortunately for me, I couldn't be in the Safety Patrol past sixth grade, so that taste of tyranny ended. During junior high school I was very involved with three groups which saved me from an otherwise abysmal prepubescent school life. First I was evaluated and deemed worthy to join the gifted program. This is when the gifted program consisted of the "chosen ones" getting to take lots of wonderful field trips. This was a step into another group MENSA. It was a coup, but it was something else as well for me.I came to view a membership as a way to meet quality people - not just achieve a personal "goal" within an organization. The seed of a lifelong friendship with Ruth S. sprouted from this program. The second group was the school orchestra; I loved playing cello, and I had to be 1st chair of course. I love classical music and symphony concerts to this day....This activity was shared with my brothers and sister, although we all reacted differently to the participation. I met a lifelong friend- Linda K.who played the French horn.We were inseparable. The 3rd group was the Candy-stripers which Linda and I joined together. I thought I wanted to become a doctor so I volunteered regularly at the hospital. I wanted to reach the award level of 200 hours so that's what I did, but it also helped to clarify that I wasn't cut out for the medical field. However, I learned that I like volunteering for worthwhile activities and I still do love volunteering through my church ties. When I was in ninth grade I joined the "Man From U.N.C.L.E." fan club and became the local chapter's president.I liked being "in charge" and I loved loved that show. I did the same thing with "Dark Shadows." Kids are made to see an us vs them mentality - you either are loyal or you aren't - like with sports teams and schools and politics. This, I think, can be unhealthy and self- limiting. But I am rather programmed this way - rooting for U of M teams, rooting for my political candidate of choice, etc. Go Blue.... In college, I didn't want to make time to join any organizations, because I was immersed in my studies so I could finish early, but Preceptor Alpha Omega called and that was a very important part of my life until just about 8 years ago ( this will need a separate post.)Eventually,when I started teaching I mandatorily joined the teacher 's union.I did NOT like this because I could not have any say in how my dues were spent, such as for Democratic politicians. Let me just say that I vote mainly Republican but I have voted for many individual Democrats. I just don't like when my money goes to someone or some cause which I can't support and that is why I no longer belong to AARP.We do not have teacher unions in Georgia and I'm fine with that, but I digress which I frequently do. I currently sing in the church choir, play Bunco and Bridge so I am still involved in organizations of my choosing but I prefer one- on -one relationships. Bunco and Bridge only meet once a month so that's fine , and I view the choir as my small worship group.I just don't feel the need to be so committed to particular groups , because - you know how this is- the more you do, the more "they" want you to do and I'll let others milk that cow, unless a compelling cause comes along and I'll probably make another commitment....

Hyperparathyroidism

Hyperparathyroidism is a medical rarity.I have been diagnosed with it. I will be having surgery. The success rate is over 90%. That said, let me explain what it is ( for my family and friends who aren't doctors and nurses) and what it isn't. Although "thyroid" is part of the word, it doesn't have anything to do with the thyroid other than the usual 4 parathyroid glands and the thyroid gland are both part of the endocrine system. These little glands get their name because they are in proximity (para)to the thyroid.The thyroid and parathyroid have very different functions. Here are some facts:"The 10 Parathyroid Rules of Norman" Refer to Parathyroid.com for more info if interested. There are no drugs that will make parathyroid disease better….None. --Read More-- Nearly all parathyroid patients have symptoms; 95% know it--and feel bad. Most of the rest just don’t know it until the disease is fixed. --Read More-- Symptoms of parathyroid disease do NOT correlate with the level of calcium in the blood. Many patients with only slightly elevated calcium and parathyroid hormone will have BAD symptoms and develop severe osteoporosis. --Read More-- All patients with parathyroid disease have calcium levels and PTH levels that go up and down. Fluctuating levels of calcium are typical of parathyroid disease. --Read More-- All patients with hyperparathyroidism will develop osteoporosis.  ALL. --Read more-- Taking Fosamax, Actonel, Boniva, or Reclast (etc) will NOT help bones that are being attacked by a bad parathyroid. These osteoporosis drugs have no place in the treatment of parathyroid disease. --Read More-- Parathyroid disease will get worse with time in all patients. It will not stay the same, nor will it get better on its own. --Read More-- There is only one treatment for parathyroid disease (hyperparathyroidism):  Surgery --Read More--   Nearly all parathyroid patients can be cured with a minimal operation. The days of big dangerous parathyroid surgery are gone (so don't let your surgeon perform one on you!). --Read More-- The success rate and complication rate for parathyroid surgery is VERY dependent upon the surgeon’s experience. --Read More-- Symptoms - I have many except kidney stones( thank God for small favors)-Symptoms of Parathyroid Disease (Hyperparathyroidism) Loss of energy. Don't feel like doing much. Tired all the time. Chronic fatigue. Just don't feel well; don't quite feel normal. Hard to explain but just feel kind of bad. Feel old. Don't have the interest in things that you used to. Can't concentrate, or can't keep your concentration like in the past. Depression. Osteoporosis and Osteopenia. Bones hurt; typically it's bones in the legs and arms but can be most bones. Don't sleep like you used to. Wake up in middle of night. Trouble getting to sleep. Tired during the day and frequently feel like you want a nap (but naps don't help). Spouse claims you are more irritable and harder to get along with (cranky, bitchy). Forget simple things that you used to remember very easily (worsening memory). Gastric acid reflux; heartburn; GERD. Decrease in sex drive. Thinning hair (predominately in middle aged females on the front part of the scalp). Kidney Stones (and eventually kidney failure). High Blood Pressure (sometimes mild, sometimes quite severe; up and down a lot). Recurrent Headaches (usually patients under the age of 40). Heart Palpitations (arrhythmias). Typically atrial arrhythmias. Atrial Fibrillation (rapid heart rate, often requiring blood thinners and pacemakers). High liver function tests (liver blood tests). Development of MGUS and abnormal blood protein levels. Most people with hyperparathyroidism will have 5 - 6 of these symptoms. Some will have lots of them. A few people will say they don't have any... but after an operation they will often say otherwise. 95% of people with hyperparathyroidism will have 4 or more of these symptoms. In general, the longer you have hyperparathyroidism, the more symptoms you will develop. Not sure if you have a parathyroid problem? Download the CalciumPro app developed by our expert doctors. This is an app that can save your life, so spend the $5.99 and upgrade to the PRO-version. It will be the best app you ever bought.

Hearing

I have excellent hearing.Maybe because I haven't had good eyesight most of my life( see yesterday's post ), my other senses have compensated.When I say good hearing, ask my closest friends or family.I can hear other people's conversations while in restaurants very clearly.That can be awkward at times. I'm not eavesdropping; I have sensitive hearing ; my "earshot" is farther than many I know. My ex-students can attest to this.I can put the TV on low volume, 6 or 7, and hear perfectly fine, while others tell me that the sound is way too low.I'm surprised that my hearing is so good because, I used to crank the volume up on the car radio( long before iPods and sirius/ xm radio) and play loud music at home - not to mention eardrum busting concerts,where often I would resort to putting some cotton in my ears. If you ever went to a Led Zeppelin or Who concert you know what loud is,too.Anyway,I guess because I can hear so well, I can't sleep with music playing or the TV on, or people talking in another room, etc. I like quiet. "On ne s'entend plus penser." Oh by the way,I have been told that I'm a good listener. That's a good thing since just because a person can hear someone doesn't mean she's listening. Also I like to hear what someone isn't saying when she is talking to me, if you know what I mean. But I digress.... As Shakespeare said, "Make passionate my sense of hearing."

Sight

I've worn glasses since the age of seven, so that's well over 50 years ago. It was hard for me initially to get over being called names because I wore them, but eventually I adapted both to wearing them and to the hurtful nature of insensitive kids. That said, I've tried contact lenses and researched LASIK surgery, but my eyes aren't good candidates for either. So I must admit that I spend a lot of money on frames and lenses , because glasses are my constant companion.I also get prescription sunglasses. Consequently going to the opthamologist is a pricey endeavor.I need to go again but I keep putting I off. Right now I see better(and my vision is poor) without my glasses than I do with them. Which brings me to my general sight. I think many people take their 5 senses for granted until something occurs and one of the senses is diminished or lost.I 'm not talking about the countless people who have had an impairment or handicap since birth or a young age.I now have poor eyesight, and it gets a little worse each year. I wear trifocals and my night vision is not as good as it once was either.It's really a pain in the derriere.I miss how well I used to see, so one of my favorite things to do , which is reading, has lost some of its enjoyment. I even get a headache after I read for more than an hour or so now.If you have great eyesight; be grateful.I feel blessed that I still have adequate vision with glasses, but everything is blurry without them. It's a good thing I don't have essays and other papers to grade anymore. I just hope that in another ten years I will still be able to enjoy the beauty of a sunset or the constellations, but most assuredly my grandchildren( if I have any).

Friends

I have met many people during my life, but I can count on two hands my closest friends( excluding my husband and sister). Of those closest to me, most of them live in places other than GA, so I don't see them very often, yet I will be forever connected to them. However,having a close friend nearby keeps me sane, and I have someone to call at 3am if absolutely needed. All that I just wrote is fairly typical I suppose. But what is not typical is that I really don't feel like I need any more friends than I already have. To have a friend, you have to be a friend, as the saying goes, and that is a juggling act at times. I have lots of acquaintances, but the kind of time that goes into fostering an intimate, ongoing relationship gets more difficult the older I become, so I savor the sisterhood of those I already know.That's not to say that I couldn't develop any more close ties, but my dearest friends are women I have known for decades, and they know who they are....now this next statement is a selfish one; I hope my dear "girlfriends" outlive me. I would be devastated if they were to pass on before I do. They are irreplaceable.