Random facts, part 2 ( 61 - which is my age)

1. I was a sleepwalker when I was 11-13. 2. I have only broken one bone, my big toe. 3. I have had extremely thin hair since I was 17. 4. I can not roll my tongue. 5. I used to skinny dip. 6. My favorite car I 've owned was a 1969 yellow mustang. 7. I had a penchant for musicians and personally knew some ( like Robert Palmer).8. I have been, easily, to over a hundred concerts( rock, classical, jazz).9. I have known Alfredo since 1974. 10. I like Worcestershire sauce on cottage cheese. 11. I adored, admired and miss my mother and father greatly.12. I never get tired of Beethoven, Shakespeare or Rembrandt.13. I would like to live on Maui, about half way up Haleakala. 14.My middle name is spelled Diann. 15. I used to own over 300 pairs of shoes; it was an obsession. I now have about 30 pairs. 16. I once had 15 points on my license for speeding. 17. I love riding in hot air balloons. 18. The hardest lit I 've read is Eliot's "The Wasteland and Eco's "Foucault Pendulum". 19. My favorite games are chess, bridge, backgammon, pool, bowling and scrabble, although I struggle with all of them.20. I am very competitive. 21. My favorite exercise is dancing. A close second is walking ( in the woods) or yoga. 22. I can knit pretty well, but I no longer like to do it.23. My sleep number is 40. 24. I play the piano and cello ,albeit not very well. 25. Most of my dear friends and family live outside Georgia. 26. I have been told that I have an eclectic set of friends and tastes. 27. I am very loyal and dependable. 28. 28 is my favorite number ( 9/28 is my b'day). 29.I like very hot soup and very cold milk. 30. I collect dolls, masks, angels, snow babies ,and artwork. 31. I really enjoy watching Men's tennis and all Olympic events. 32. If money and obligations were no object, I would travel frequently. 33. I used to like to camp; now I truly dislike it. 34. I studied Japanese culture in college and would like to go to Kyoto and see a tea ceremony,kabuki, sumo wrestling, geishas and eat sushi, sushi and more sushi. It would be a very expensive trip. 35. Another place I want to go is the Galapagos. 36. I love astronomy and star gazing.37. I hate unpacking from a trip. 38. I love candlelight and fireplaces. 39. When I was a kid I wanted a train set for Christmas, but never got one. I obviously survived. 40. I almost drowned when I was 12, and had to be resuscitated. 41. I like extremely strong coffee, vodka, and wine, but my favorite beverage is milk. 42. I am accident prone and clumsy. 43. I love spas! 44. To this day, I miss my mom's cooking. 45. It appears that I have an addiction to certain HBO and Showtime programs. 46. I love the movies and the clothes of the 1940's. 47. I will see any movie with Brad Pitt in it. 48. I like swinging on a swing and riding a bike- for short periods of time. 49.I cheated on a test once and felt so bad that I told the teacher, and he let me redo it.50. I have had glorious passion in my life; I have laughed loudly; I have cried hard. 51. I have secrets I have never revealed to anybody. 52. I like the smell of gasoline. 53.I admire combat veterans immensely. 53. I have a crush on Peter Dinklage, Charles Krauthammer, Netanyahu, and Nadal. 54.I love white flowers such as gardenias and roses. 55. I hate wearing bras, which, of course, is a necessity in public.56.Two of my most treasured possessions are my dad's beanie hat and my mom's hand written recipes.57. I believe in the Holy Trinity.58. I have broken every commandment. 59. I love a joke that makes me laugh out loud. 60. I have had my share of both bad times and good times. 61. I would like to live long enough to see my grandchildren.

Random facts, part 1

Sometimes the littlest mistakes prove uncomfortable and painful, such as a paper cut, which hurts like heck when first it happens, then subsides, because you burn yourself taking the Thanksgiving turkey out of the oven, which also takes the back burner with the onset of an inconveniently timed migraine.Our minds dwell on the greatest spot of pain instead of other , smaller ailments in comparison, although they are all going on simultaneously. Life is like that. Momentary, inconsequential hurts seem minor compared to bigger " headaches ". I have not been blogging for the last two weeks, because I just needed a break from being repetitive about the current paper cuts and burn spots in my life.Actually, I want to take a long break from dwelling on my current figurative migraines, too. I will try to focus more on the sunshine than the rain. For example, recently on FB, different friends have been giving me assorted numbers for which I then am supposed to list that many random facts about myself.If given the number 9, I list nine random facts about myself. I got overwhelmed with trying to keep up with the requests, so that took time. Here is a sampling: 1. I used to suck my thumb until I was four. 2. I had a speech impediment in elementary school and had therapy for two years to correct it.3.I learned to drive a stick shift in France with a Porsche which I crashed. 4. My favorite color to wear is black. 5. I used to own a motorcycle. 6. The only class I withdrew from in college was Russian. I took it for three weeks and I couldn't even learn the alphabet. 7. I took a civil service exam to be an ambassador and didn't pass. 8. A black panther is a frequent companion in my dreams. 9. If I could choose my last supper, I would have lobster and filet mignon. More random facts to follow in another post.

Another free cruise

I'm taking a free cruise 11/15-11/23. Al will be in Vegas part of the time,and we have arrangements for Gina , CJ, and our house. I was offered a free cruise to Alaska in May 2012,and it was top notch. Airfare, balcony room, gratuities, alcohol, truly everything was handled by Park West.They offered me another one this year, and I'm going on the NCL Epic to the southern Caribbean.Just like avid gamblers get free junkets to Vegas, I have been offered this because of art purchased through PW. I took a dear girlfriend to Alaska, and it was truly a free gift for her,and I'm taking another close friend this time,and it will be a gift for her as well.It feels good to share the experience Al couldn't go on either trip, unfortunately, so a girlfriends' getaway ensues. Of course, the art I have purchased equates to the price of the cruises, but I love cruising, so it will be great! The Epic has great entertainment: Blue Man Group, Legends in Concert, Second City Comedy, Cirque de Soleil and BB King. I will have an excursion on St.Martin, where I haven't been since my twenties, and I will truly enjoy quite a bit of speciality dining and wine. This is coming at a perfect time for me, because the last few months have been a roller coaster stress ride. Bring it on, she says with a smile on her face. There won't be much blogging while I'm traveling, too much to do. ( insert grin)

Transitions

Transitions are awkward and somewhat difficult for me. There was the transition from my full-time teaching career to retirement.The psychological jump from prime to middle age has occurred( much later than the physical one). The empty nest is coming soon; Adam is already in his own place, and Gina has pretty much moved out. My roles as wife and mother are evolving, and I am nearing the end of being a pet owner.I turned on the electric blanket, because cold nights have arrived, and most of the leaves have fallen in my backyard, which means now I can see my neighbors' yards again. I don't do well with winter - lack of warmth and sun, nor with the "Winter of my discontent." The hardest of all transitions is the weeding of my relationships garden. All meaningful interactions need reciprocity and concerted " watering." I find myself doing more pruning and fertilizing than I feel I should be doing. Are some friends just annuals instead of perennials( to continued this strained metaphor)?Yes, is the answer.Seasons change the garden, of course, and I need to adjust; "therein lies the rub."

My babies

Black, shiny, straight, thick hair, down to shoulders and taken for granted. Dimples to punctuate the infectious smile and those impish coal colored eyes with mischievous looks. Toffee colored skin, smooth and glowing. Why don't you think you're pretty when the evidence shouts otherwise? Shaved head to counteract your mind's needless worry about looking older than you are.Exceedingly attractive.Don't you know? Mr.Bazinga!Chiseled features, chipped off the old man's block. Cleft chin and clear eyes,handsome lips speak profound thoughts, with a rapturous smile and pleasing kisses.When will you see how marvelous you are? You both will always be my precious, beautiful babies no matter how old you are or what your self- image is....

Another pause

I am taking another break from blogging,probably until after Thanksgiving. I don't have writer's block.I have family issues which are taking priority for me, as they should.

Buyer beware

Don't you just hate the phrase, "Buyer beware"? It assumes that whoever sells you something may be disingenuous and not have your best interests at heart, or another way to say that is that the "seller" just has self-serving motives. Well, I'm shocked, shocked I tell you! Everyone wants to feel like she is getting a bargain, or at least a good deal.This can be accomplished easily in retail, for instance, if one shops at Good Will.Not so much if you are buying a used car or appliance or even getting an item from EBay or Craig's list.Now extend this " trust, but verify" idea to anything of importance. The onus is on the receiver of information,goods,etc. So integrity and being forthright can not be assumed. A handshake can never be enough anymore; written, legal contracts and warranties are needed to protect the consumer or employee. It's inconvenient , but doable, to send back a poor product, vote or recall a politician out of office, get a legal divorce, etc. Well, how does that work in the case of adoption? Now the stakes are exponentially higher here than for any of the before mentioned problems. You don't just send a child back from whence he came, just as you wouldn't with any child ( well, at least, I wouldn't). If you aren't given essential information like the birth mother is schizophrenic ( genetic issue for offspring) or adopted children often have RAD which is reactive attachment disorder, how would trusting, optimistic, potential adoptive parents know, especially if it is an international adoption? The parents trust the process, the adoption agencies, the propaganda, and even the government, because they want a child, desperately. Now we don't like to think of a child as being a commodity, but tens of thousands of dollars later with adoption proceedings, essentially he/ she is. Of course, each human is unique, and outcomes are never certain, but people should have more information at their disposal. When adoptive parents choose children with physical and developmental disabilities, they go into the adoption willingly. It is extremely different when the mental challenges will not necessarily present themselves until many years later. Not all adoptions are wonderful.Adoptions are limited when it comes to the biological parents' medical background. With genetic counseling or knowing the results of amniocentesis, biological parents have insight and preparedness for potential difficulties and setbacks, and they can knowingly go forward with that information. Those tools are not afforded to adoptive parents, who by definition want and choose to be responsible guardians. It is a leap of faith as the saying goes - just as all parenting is- but I wish I could have had a rounder picture of Gina's biological parents. For many years Al and I felt blessed and we were certain that Gina felt the same way.I thought environment,education, a loving, Christian home,having rules and morals, enriching activities, etc. would be more than enough for growing a healthy, well-adjusted young woman. I was wrong.

Interlopers

"The road to Hell is paved with good intentions," an aphorism that unsolicited " helpful" action may have unforeseen Negative consequences, keeps playing in my head.From very diverse walks of life, I have innocent enough people who feel they optimistically might have the possible, illuminating solution to my ongoing conundrum and therefore insinuate themselves into the complex situation, as if their 3 or 4 day attempts (albeit sincere) will trump Al's and my 9 years of significant efforts for positive change. Their staunch belief in their efficacy is ludicrous but exacerbated by their many degrees( mental health professionals)or their legal expertise(judges and probation officers)or their adolescent advocacy( school system)or perhaps the most compassionate, but misguided gentle folk(church"assistance"). I am disappointed with all these segments of our society and their egregious behavior; they have proven themselves to be ineffectual, feckless, surrogate parents. Insert hugh sigh here! ( see 10/28 related blog post )

What if? What now?

I dawdle when it comes to putting away decorations after a holiday.I never seem to unpack my suitcase immediately when I get home from a vacation. It's not laziness. It is just hard for me to let go of the happy snippets of time associated with traditions and trips. When the day-to-day routine incorporates a lot of stress, I hold on to escapist behavior just a little longer. I'm also a pack rat. I have boxes and bins in my basement that contain sentimental items of my parents and from when my children were really young. Al would like to get rid of the "stuff"; I can't or won't it seems. What if my kids want this stuff when they are older? I am extremely nostalgic; it's good that I have storage space. Nevertheless, we would like to downsize to a 55+ community or something like that, a smaller, ranch style home with no outside maintenance. We're looking at 3-5 years, our last move( maybe even out of state). I will be paring down, because I must, but I resist doing it right now.I realize that I have control over decorations and trips and keepsakes, and maybe that management is partly why I am the way I am, because it seems I have had to relinquish control over so many things in my life,and retaining these small dictates gives me some satisfaction, since messy relationships aren't easy for control freaks.