Flawed

10 commandments - not suggestions- and I 've broken every one of them. Yes, every one. I've asked sincerely for forgiveness, but some of them I keep on breaking.Is wicked a relative term?What does that say about the state of my soul? What does the inability to not repeat past transgressions say about my judgment and intellect? My vagaries and idiosyncrasies are many, although some are hidden. I have a contrite disposition, but the Deadly sins, I've known them all.My capital vices are more "venial" than"mortal", and although I'm not a failed human, I'm flawed. Many people would say this is nonsensical thinking.I disagree. Should I not look at my weaknesses and peccadillos? Should I not try to move my cheese? Yes, but I am daunted in the attempt.I want my moral compass to point True North, but usually the needle moves all over the place. Dante's "Inferno" fascinates me. His poetic genius matches his incredible underworld view, and I find myself relating to every ring of his version of Hell, and imagining if his vision were indeed reality, my placement and punishments would be assured. My soul is conflicted,vulnerable and sometimes, I fear, in jeopardy. I am, even at the ripe age of 60, a work in progress.