One foot in front of another

The Christmas church choir concert is tonight and Sunday, and for the first time in many years, I won't be singing. The Gina saga, which involves some well-meaning ladies from my church, has left me exhausted yet paradoxically agitated.The number of rehearsals for preparation seemed daunting to me this season, and I really don't have the energy for suffering platitudes or emotional lip service. I sing because I love that kind of worship, but the Lord knows I don't have the desire or joy for that right now. I'm going with my family Sunday night to listen with certainty that it will be wonderful and uplifting, but I feel like receiving the gift of music rather than giving it right now. My emotional and spiritual well is getting dry, and I need to replenish my mental state and well being. I love Christmas; nevertheless, I am not much in a festive mood. I apologize in advance for cocooning. I am feeling rather self- absorbed right now, and chatting just isn't in me right now. My dear friends know that I don't like talking on the phone when I'm like this, so I hope they will continue to be patient with my isolationism. This weariness is why I haven't been blogging much lately as well. My energy is being used up with decorating and shopping and the usual holiday madness. I've gone a little mad myself.