Debra

My younger sister Debra not only is the one other member of my immediate family still alive,she remains a strong, positive influence on me. I admire her fortitude and optimism, and my sis is a remarkable role model to her children and grandchildren. We have not always gotten along; we've had our moments, but are assured in the fact that we love each other unconditionally. When my sister was a very young girl, she contracted polio, just before the Salk vaccine became available.I was stupidly envious of all the attention she required, not realizing at the time how fortunate I was not to have the same physical challenges as she had. I was also irrationally jealous of her beauty.I thought that she got all the good looks( I still do, but I'm no longer jealous of that) especially her thick hair, because I've always had very thin hair, which is a very big embarrassment for a woman. My sister became the Easter Seals poster child in Michigan, and she was able to have an operation to repair her afflicted leg.I'm sure she would have preferred to have had her health and no publicity,but at least, Debra and my parents had the financial assistance to help her prevail over this difficult period in her life. I remember that my first grade teacher, Mrs. Buchanan came walking up our sidewalk one day, and I was so excited that she was coming to visit me! However, she was visiting because she wanted to see Debra and my mom.That was another moment of irrational envy. I was young and stupid about how serious a situation my sister had to endure. I regret those absurd feelings now, but at age six, I felt pretty justified, albeit wrongly so.My sister and I shared a small bedroom and the same double bed while we were growing up. We had an imaginary line to divide our sides of the bed, and as ridiculous as it sounds now, we would bite each other if that invisible line was crossed. I have a couple of tiny scars from that, but now I just smile when I think of it. We didn't have the same friends growing up and even in our neighborhood, we hung out with different people. We were two grade levels apart, and so we didn't really spend much time together when we weren't at home. When I look back, I regret not spending more time with her. I think I created that distance , not Debra. Sibling rivalry is an insidious thing, and I guess I had to have time and distance from living with my sister to finally come to terms with how unwarranted my attitude was. I came to recognize the quality person she always was- and is- and I genuinely regret the tension we have had, in large part due to me. She lives in Michigan, and I have lived in Georgia almost twenty years now. It's ironic to me that I feel closer to her now, than when I was a kid, and we live so far from each other. I truly miss her lots and her husband Jerry , children Jennifer and Jason, and her grandchildren Alex,Tyler and Brooklyn. She has a wonderful family and a beautiful home where I am welcomed and nurtured.I am so sorry that I took my sister for granted until I was a young adult. I hope she realizes now that I care deeply for her and pray for her health, well-being and happiness every day. She deserved a better, more compassionate and caring sister when she was growing up,but I am trying to mend that. I admit my failings, and I hope she recognizes my sincere efforts to improve our relationship. I want my sister to forgive my shortcomings; she means the world to me.Our shared familial history makes our relationship unique and I treasure that bond.Debra Ann Shelton Maline Thomas Trevillain, I love you and all our shared memories - the good, bad, ugly and sublime. Thank you for being a soulmate even when I didn't know it. <3