Alfredo

My husband is a hard worker, always has been. Right now he is digging a drainage ditch in our back yard as I write. Besides being an educated man, who had to put himself through college, while he worked at a full time job at Chrysler, which he loathed ,Al likes working with his hands, and he's good at it. He may be a "slow" worker, but that's because he is methodical and thorough. I really admire and respect his work ethic. He and my dad had that in common, and they were very close, which is a rare commodity for Alfredo, because he doesn't have many close friends.His brothers were his closest friends, but all but one are now deceased. Alfredo moved to the US to go to school when he was 13 and lived with his older sister Margo until after I met him. He was born to Syrian parents who emigrated to Colombia, South America, where Alfredo was born. He grew up learning Spanish and Arabic and didn't know any English until he moved to Michigan. That's got to be hard on any teenager, but Americans can be really crass to people who don't speak English well, and that can do a number on someone's psyche.I think that this is,in part,a reason why he is so drawn to the underdog, the downtrodden and minorities. The irony of being mocked and teased is, of course, that he has prevailed in this gringo culture;he is multicultural, multilingual, classy and humble compared to MANY people I personally know. Besides this, I have always thought of my husband as extremely handsome - and he is aging well, I must say. Mr. Orfale has very positive character traits; he is honest, loyal, candid, compassionate, self- deprecating and familial. He has a silly, juvenile-like, sense of humor which I find both endearing and lame.He loves me, Adam and Gina unconditionally, and that, in itself, is wholly remarkable and, if he did nothing else in his life, he will have the legacy of being a tremendous father and role model for his son and daughter. Al grew up within two very traditional cultures where women are objectified and/or seen as subservient - a machismo viewpoint. But, incredulously, he never has been that way. That is astounding considering his upbringing. Al was also raised Catholic and went to a very strict Catholic school which did a number on him - mainly he developed a strong guilt and martyr mechanism.Also,the nuns were verbally and physically abusive, so Al developed a deep skepticism about organized religion.Al's family - mainly his mom, I think- didn't initially " approve" of me. In their eyes, I should have been 5-6 years younger than he, so I could take care of him in his older age. I should have been Syrian, and I should not have been a widow ( which meant I wasn't a virgin, of course). I knew nothing about Arabic cuisine, and I wasn't a " beauty". That he went against the grain with his family concerning me, I still find surprising and brave. Our life together has not been smooth sailing, but to continue the metaphor, we've weathered the storms, and we have never given up on each other. I think that, after 4o years of being together, that is saying a lot. I guess this is my way of saying that I love him - which can be an easily thrown around phrase.I'm fortunate to be his wife and the mother of his children. I don't tell him that enough.