Catastrophizing

I had parathyroid surgery on the 21st,and now that it is behind me, I can admit that I was very anxious. I know God is in control, but that doesn't mean that things are going to go the way I want. It could have been " my time", as they say. I'm not usually a worry wart, but the only major surgery I have ever had was my c- section, and I was sooo happy to have that, because I knew it would be a joyful result. This surgery - not so much.Nevertheless, I only had one gland removed instead of two, and the "tumor" on my thyroid that showed up on the scan wasn't there when they looked at it on the operating table. The skilled surgeon explained that the parathyroid was very enlarged and that is why there was a cloud on my thyroid. The gland that was removed is regularly the size of a grain of rice, but mine was about the size of a dime.So ironically, the day of my surgery ended up being a happy day for me- a day of relief.I was glad that I didn't have to tell Adam and Gina that I had thyroid cancer, which the doctors were concerned about, because the scan had been "troubling".Now, I don't know about you, but when a doctor uses a euphemism like troubling, my mind goes to a worst case scenario ( I am, after all, melodramatic at times). Anyway, all that anxiety was fortunately for naught.I agree about the power of prayer, good vibes, etc., but I've had many people I love die relatively young, and so I know that prayer isn't always answered the way we want it to be. When we ask God for something for ourselves or others,we must be prepared that His answer might be "no" or "not yet". I prayed that my mom would live, my first husband would live, the twins I carried would live, my brothers would live , my father would live, and many more, but they didn't.Of course, Heaven is a "better place" for all of them, but I didn't want to meet my maker quite yet. I want to see my son and daughter grow up and be around to see grandchildren(God willing of course).I know that people, every day, have much more serious operations than I did, but, for me , it was a monumental occasion, a colossal concern. Mark one more thing up to experience, and I move on....For all those who supported me, encouraged me, and yes, prayed for me, thank you so much! God must have His reasons, and I am blessed to have more time with all those I hold dear.