Half of year 2015 in history books

The first six months of 2015 have been transformative for me. I literally almost died in January ( see previous posts).While recuperating, I have made purposeful lifestyle changes. I am seriously making the attempt to exercise regularly and eat less fat grams. The ebb and flow of these efforts have rewarded me with a loss of 22lbs so far.However, I am a foodie and wine lover, so I constantly struggle between opposing desires- taking care of my heart and enjoying the gourmand life. Joining a gym surprised me, but I found a good fit with aqua aerobics and beginning yoga.I clock steps on a pedometer and dance to a song or two almost daily. [Who are you and what have you done with Linda?] Also, our sweet cat CJ died in May and so did my sister- in- law Diana; these are difficult losses for me( and, of course, for Alfredo).My son recently asked if I was writing on my blog any more. I haven't posted since March, but his question spurred me to do so today. I hope the second half of 2015 will be joyful for me. I will be able to travel and look forward to both short and long trips.Travel ignites and rejuvenates me, especially when I am able to be with dear family and friends. I just finished a TN mountain cabin getaway with my sweet friend Melanie Salas. I will be at Tybee Island this coming weekend with my immediate family.In August, I will be in Michigan with my sister, family and friends. In October I will be on a church retreat with my soul sista, Ms. Loretta. I will also be going to Hawaii the second half of October to be with my lifelong friend Ruth, who graciously bought me the airfare.In November, I will be driving to Disney World with another close friend, Felicia.I have never been to Disney World without children; it should be a blast. Also, next February Al and I are going on an almost free cruise. I feel blessed and Life is good once again.

Maladies

I am getting over my " heart " saga fairly well. Six weeks later and I'm now resuming most activities. However, I'm now in cardiac rehab which is essentially monitored exercise for up to twelve weeks, three days per week. It's ok; I know that I need it, I tell myself unconvincingly. The next saga is about my eyes. I had cataracts removed a couple days ago; I 'm still healing. The worst part of post-op has been the 4 different types of eye drops. Until this afternoon's set, they burned like hell. So nice that has subsided; I can endure the blurriness and killer headaches a while longer. I don't need to wear a patch( I kind of wanted to do that actually).The cataract removal is commonplace, I know. Lots of tune ups going on... It is the next step that is bothersome - cornea replacement after Easter. That said, I can't fly until at least 8 weeks after my last procedure, and I already have cabin fever; taking a weekend road trip to Nashville mitigated that, at least..Nevertheless,let me just say , thank goodness for modern medicine. I am mollified by planning little daytime excursions to get me walking: Gibbs Gardens, wine country, the zoo( it's been years),and a farmer's market or two. Well that catches you up,albeit malady related. I will be overjoyed when these health issues are behind me.I never thought I would be so absorbed with medical crap. I can't even have a glass of wine right now because of antibiotics. Oh woe I me.... Ha!

Señor helpmate

I am not the only person who has suffered through my medical crisis. Al has carried a lot of stress and anxiety with sleepless nights, while being a selfless caregiver for me.Let me back up to November when Al's position was eliminated with the company with which he was employed. The chemical company decided to eliminate outside chemical sales positions. He got a bit of severance and a great recommendation,but Al is 62, and although he is supremely experienced and competent, age is an issue. He does get unemployment ( whoopee) and although he was going to wait until 66, he applied for social security. Work is very important to Alfredo and this has preoccupied him. Also, after Christmas break,our 18 year old daughter Gina overdosed on pills and liquor ( on Al's birthday no less) and she was in Lakeview behavioral hospital for a few days. She is out of danger now and is in Florida with Al's side of the family for a while to give us some respite here.The day I went into the hospital I was not supposed to stay.When complications arose with my procedures, I almost died. Al was alone in the waiting room and he said it was the longest, scariest night of his life.At one point when my blood pressure couldn't be stabilized, a doctor came out and talked to Al and told him to prepare for the worst, and that if I did make it, I could have brain damage. Wow! If our positions had been reversed, I know I would have been freaking out, too. Through ICU and the cardiac care unit, Al stayed by my side and helped as best he could. Some might say , " yea, of course; that's what spouses do." I know differently. Anyway, the shell shock experience drew us even closer together, and I believe he not only showed grace under pressure, he was incredibly kind and patient with me, especially the first few days after I returned home.Nobody really helped him. He has been my hero. He says that I must be getting better now, because I'm back to my sarcastic self again. I truly don't know how I would have fared without him. Unemployment, daughter in crisis,seriously ill wife- any one of these is major. Al is stronger and tougher than I imagined. I am proud that he is such a loyal husband and caring father ( he shielded Adam from my situation until I was out of danger, for example). Our love of 40 years is stronger than ever, and I am blessed that we will have more time together.

No hyperbole

Sometimes people say they almost died (more figuratively than literally). Well, I did almost die. Here's a story....Back in November my primary physician sent me for some tests because my blood pressure could not seem to get regulated through medicine, etc."Irregularities" took me to a cardiologist, who went through a sequence of more tests including a nuclear stress test and a pet scan.He decided I should get a heart Cath to make sure everything would be ok.I was asymptomatic for the most part, but they found a 90% blockage on my main artery , and put a stent in.Wow, that in itself was unexpected. However, it's not the Cath or the subsequent stent that is unusual.I know many people have had those procedures. Everybody kept telling me , "It will be ok", yada, yada. Well.... After the stent was put in, complications occurred that less than 1% of people have with this procedure. My IV was"positional" and not enough blood thinner was able to get to the heart; I developed a blood clot which had to have suctioned out and I was sent to OR from recovery so another Cath was put in my groin ( again not unusual) to get the clot; this was emergency enough but then my blood pressure plummeted, and they could not get it stabilized.( something like 40/20). They did another scan and found "serum sanguine" surrounding my heart and not letting the heart pump, probably due to either now too much thinner or a micro perforation.They opened my chest ( euphemistically called a window)and had to insert tube as well to get the excess fluid out.( 15 staples)Meanwhile, I had aspirated into my lungs so I was intubated as well. Good grief! An outpatient procedure- or with an overnight stay if I needed a balloon/ stent- turned into 2 nights in cardiac ICU and 5 days more on the cardiac unit. My nurses were wonderful but I must say I had to let go of my dignity with all the care I had to receive. I have been home now 4 days and will be recuperating for a while.My staples need to be taken out soon and I currently have no energy. I seem to be getting a little better each day. I should be resuming activities and driving, with in reason, by the 10th( coincidentally, my son's birthday). I thank everybody for their continued prayers for healing. When I feel more cogent and stable, I will revisit all the medical reports surrounding these events. I believe the clot and serum sanguine issues were preventable. We will see.

End of year

2014-blink of an eye. After all is said and done, I laughed; I cried; I mourned; I rejoiced; I struggled; I learned. My son graduated from college in May. My daughter passed her GED in June. My husband continues to be my best friend and my roughest critic. I turned 62, so I get Social Security and take advantage of all the " senior" discounts that are available. I spent quality time with dear friends and family when I visited San Francisco, Michigan, Dahlonega, Bermuda. I hugged my sister. I kissed my nieces and nephews. I sang loudly and danced like a dervish. I tried to be kind, thoughtful, reflective and thankful. My conversations and prayers with God were at varying times marked by my confusion,anger, wonder and gratitude. I know that "my Redeemer liveth",and I've been singed by His refining fire. There are some health issues and some regrets; I will work on all of that. I feel the empowering Love of God, my family and my dear friends. Life can be challenging, yet it is sweet and to be savored.

The holidays

Thanksgiving is done, and now it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. I really decorated this year. Every room on the main floor has the more-is-more look, and I put up two trees. Let the festivities begin. Meanwhile, I'm rehearsing for the choir 's Christmas concerts; I am finished with shopping; and I am still taking a plethora of medical tests.Fa la la la la. I love the season! I haven't blogged in almost a month because of the flurry of holiday preparations ( I'm having fun).

Senior saving

I like saying I am a senior. I've paid my" dues". Today, because I am now 62, I saved some substantial money. I no longer pay school taxes.I filed today and I will save about70% off my property taxes. I got 15% off my grocery bill today and 10% off gasoline for my car. I start receiving my social security check this month and I get a teacher pension from MI and another from GA. However, I will not join AARP.( They were complicit in Obamacare bs, for one thing.)

Winners and losers

Mia Love won; Joni ernst won; Tim Scott won; two young women (18 and 30) won. Well, this is Good for Republicans for sure! Minorities and women...what "war"? Give them a chance.We will see soon enough how they do. I just hope Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi will not be minority(ironic) leaders. I truly believe they are no longer good for the Democratic party and certainly not for the country. Dr. Ben Carson also encourages me; good luck to him. He's a smart, articulate African- American . I hope Minorities will support him like they did Pres. Obama, and not just turn on him because he is a republican. I like Obama's new pick for attorney general, too. She seems universally respected. Best wishes to all the above named. I pray that they will be unifiers and work hard for ALL. On the other hand, a divisive person that I am soooooo over is Al Sharpton. Please retire Al Sharpton; you do not help anybody...

Life happens, Part Two

Some current out- of- my- control stuff: I am having my heart checked because of an irregular EKG. I will be checking my blood pressure M,W, F until Dec. I have a Stress echocardiogram on 11/21, and I will be doing a sleep study by Thanksgiving. I get to do all of this so they can figure out I what's going on. Meanwhile I will be seeing a notable eye surgeon to determine if/ when I will have surgery to correct a 2nd or 3rd level "eye aberration ". I am not adverse to seeing doctors and getting procedures done, if need be. I just have anxiety over the " waiting " times. Next,our daughter is more away, than at home, and as that saga continues, she creates a lot of stress for us. If the above isn't enough right now, Al's regional position with Rojas Chemical has been eliminated,effective immediately.The company didn't fire him; they are consolidating his territory to inside sales people.I suppose that the silver lining is that he will be getting a recommendation letter from Rojas, so that should, hopefully, help him with getting another job. However,his age of 62 works against him. At least he will be drawing unemployment and my social security checks have begun. This will nix any upcoming trips we would have planned. I'm sure my family and friends will understand. We have half way paid for a trip through the Panama Canal for Feb. We just might have to cancel that, too, and lose money we already have put out for it. SMH ... I am more concerned about Al with all of his than myself.Life happens.I'm glad we have each other!

Life happens

I have had 3 people I knew well die this week. I am trying to finish editing a book for a friend. My daughter is sick . So.....I will get back to blogging after Tuesday 11/4 , which happens to be election day.

Halloween scene

When I was a kid, I loved Halloween for the candy and being out at night in the neighborhood- not the "being scared" part. When I was a little older, I loved creating costumes and dressing up as a different personality or fantasy. I was really into having a meticulous outfit and makeup for the evening.Then I would enjoy making costumes for Adam and Gina.I fondly remember, too, all the beautifully carved pumpkins Adam would make every year for us! Now, I just enjoy handing candy out to the young kids and seeing how adorable they look, although I still put out a few decorations. My mom told me I would get to this point, and she was right. Been there, done that, a lot! Happy Halloween, whatever you do - or don't do. I will probably have a glass of wine and watch "Nightmare Before Christmas" ( the movie is already over 20 years old).

We are all mortal.

I know the older I get, I will be dealing with the deaths of people I care about deeply. It is so difficult to say goodbye and forge ahead. Grief is weird. You're supposed to move on after a "reasonable" time, but that is such a relative idea. I miss my mom and dad every day. I think about my brothers, my grandma, other relatives and friends as well. I have three dear friends, currently, who are coping with cancer. It overwhelms and saddens me, and I feel helpless, because they live far away from me. I pray for them, of course. I want for them a cure, a miracle, another chance. I hope they will get that.

Emmaus and Chrysalis

Back in 1998, I experienced the "Emmaus" walk as a pilgrim, and Kate Morris sponsored me. I then sponsored my dear friend,Loretta Yike. Subsequently, I have served on only one walk, but Loretta has worked many, many walks, and will probably be a lay director some day. She has also been very active with Chrysalis (for teenagers), so I have decided to serve on the Chrysalis walk with her Jan 1 -4.What a great way to start the new year! I will be the cook, so that is both exciting and challenging, because I will be preparing food for over 100 people. For those of you who don't know what Emmaus or Chrysalis walks are, they are spiritual retreats. I know that I will be blessed and meet many wonderful women. I don't know how many weekends I 'll do like this in the future, but I love working with Ms.Loretta, and if she ever is called to be a lay director, I will serve with her in a microsecond. I admire her servant's heart, and we are kindred spirits. I am blessed that she is my sista.

VOTE

I vote every time there is an election. I have been proudly voting since I was 18, and I don't understand people who do no make time to be informed nor take time to vote. I vote on local issues, state issues and nationally. I do not always vote for one party, but I tend to prefer Republicans. Georgia's politicians must win 51% of the vote, so we will probably have a run off in January, because the individual senatorial candidates do not appear to have a clear win majority. I hope Georgia will not be the deciding factor for which party controls the Senate,however, because if so, it will be a real circus down here- media feeding frenzy, PAC contributions and a deluge of negative ads, etc. I am a political junkie and watch the national polls and races. Btw, I rarely vote early , and I will probably vote on Nov 4- I'm kind of old school that way. Just make sure to vote!

My husband

I have been with Alfredo over 40 years. We have grown up together and have been through good and bad, thick and thin. He is honest, kind,frugal, hard-working,compassionate, silly at times, clean, pragmatic, realistic, cynical, cat man(really,he mainly takes care of CJ), yard man, gym man, and all around good guy, provider and sidekick. Gina takes advantage of him, and I can drive him crazy.He is not self- centered and is self- sacrificing, in fact, and because he is loyal to a fault, he would do pretty much anything he can to help his family and close friends, sometimes to his detriment. We argue, make up, argue some more, and don't see eye-to-eye about a lot of things especially our daughter who is very challenging. Through it all though, I have always loved him, trusted him, prayed for him and am proud he is my husband and the wonderful father of our children. I am lucky to be his wife and I don't say that enough.

Daydreaming

Sometimes I imagine that Al and I have all the money we will ever possibly need, so that we can travel when and where we want, as often as we want. This, of course, is not the case, and I have fantasized that, yes, it would be great to get a windfall or win the lottery or hit it big at blackjack. Although, if this were the case this is what I (and Al , too,I think) would do , and honestly, who in the working or middle classes hasn't daydreamed just a little about a life without financial concerns?First,Al could retire! We would pay off all our debts- mortgages, student loans, etc. in one fell swoop,, and set up trust funds for the children and pad all our savings vehicles.Naturally, I would tithe to our church. Next we would fix up everything in the house and sell it. We would like to move in a few years into a condo, with no outside maintenance. We would pay cash for it! Al could get the car of his dreams, and I and the kids could have new cars too. Then I would invite everybody we love - wherever they live- to take a two week cruise with us, all expenses paid,all inclusive. I would donate thousands of dollars to "wounded warriors" and " make a wish " foundation.Alfredo could go to Colombia twice a year, and we could go to MI twice a year as well. We could set up a state-of-the -art music studio for Adam and a house for Gina. Distance and money would no longer be factors in decisions to see my sister, family, and closest friends! Of course, health is always the big question mark, but it's my fantasy, and so we will all be well.

Missing Michigan folk already.

I'm feeling a little weepy today. Having spent time in Michigan with family and friends recently, I always get sad when I realize I won't see them again until I get back up there.The whirlwind pace exhausted me this time, but if I don't go to MI, I won't see some significant people in my life. Most of them won't make the trip to Georgia, which can be rather one sided for me, but my friends and family always treat me exceedingly well and are tremendous hosts. I just wish the distance wasn't such a large factor. I do not want to move back to MI because of the winters,but I sure wish I could get up there more often. I would have stayed longer, but I went by myself, and I have too many pulls here- namely my husband and children. They never seem to be able to go with me. I'm retired; they aren't. Hopefully, Al will retire in four years( at 66), and then there will be fewer time constraints. I will hold on to that thought.

Back in the saddle, so to speak

I haven 't been writing, blogging, or editing for over a month because of a busy time traveling to NYC, cruising to Bermuda, and visiting family and friends in Michigan.I loved the trips but am exhausted from the frenetic pace I had; I'm no spring chicken anymore. Meanwhile, my 17 year old cat had pancreatitis and now he is doing better. My son, under his music name Feverkin, released a couple of very good songs he composed.My husband, has been swamped with his work.My daughter, who has gotten her GED, is looking for a job. I plan to get back into my routine of writing now and to get busy with editing a friend's book. It will be good to be blogging again.

3 day gratitude challenge, in one post

I have been challenged to do a "gratitude challenge" over three days. Well, I 'll be out of town ,and off the grid, so to speak,so I'm doing it all at once.I have spoken so many times about how blessed I am with my family and friends ,so I am going to talk about other blessings. The quality of my life is excellent! * Day one: 1. Waking up in a clean firm bed with air conditioning and indoor plumbing- I have better shelter than the majority of people in the world. 2. Sitting in a comfortable chair eating Lox and bagels with fresh squeezed Orange juice and French roast coffee. I can afford to eat very good food. I know many people are literally starving to death and lack even the accessibility of clean water. I am grateful to have never been poor or truly hungry. 3. How many creature comforts do I need? I have reliable transportation, too many clothes, a plethora of electronic devices, a myriad of books, DVDs and CDs , and comfortable furnishings. I realize that many people have none of the above. * Day two: 1. I am grateful my parents instilled in me a love of worshipping,learning, reading, fine arts and travel. How enriched my life is because of this one factor. 2. I am spiritually, physically and mentally healthy, and so are my husband and son( my daughter- not so much). Many, many people aren't. 3. I live in a great country where I have many freedoms. I sadly understand that in other countries, Christians are persecuted and women are treated horribly. *Day three: 1. I do not experience conditions of war daily. I wake up and don't think about being in danger. I am so grateful for our soldiers , who risk their lives. I am grateful I don't live in a high crime area, let alone a war torn region. I pray for those in harm's way. 2. I am retired with a pension. I can linger over a second cup of coffee, play the cello or piano if I want,take a walk and admire Nature's awesomeness , explore the hobbies I truly love- writing reading,cooking,traveling , visiting friends and family, dining out, volunteering, seeing movies, going to museums. Some people do not know when the next meal will be , or must work two or three jobs. I am not wealthy, but I am very privileged. 3. Above all else, I am certain that I am loved and experience Grace. I am truly blessed to have a personal relationship with Jesus. Yes, I know the world can be a cynical,dark place at times. I have personally survived tragic and despairing events, and I have experienced miracles. People are " skeptical", and I know many " intelligent" individuals who mock my Faith and call it a mythology. Nevertheless, despite occurrences of true sadness, I feel joy and peace in my life.

300th post, and 18,000 views- thanks for following!

This is my 300th post. I have been recently sporadic with blog postings. I guess that is because I've been reading a lot lately- good for the soul, you know. I am editing a couple books currently, and I joined a book club. This has been good for me,. because it gets me out of my "zone" , and I'm reading stories that would not otherwise be on my radar such as: "Me Before You" by Moyes, "Glass Castle" by Wall, " Night Circus", and "Darklight" by Zayn. I recommend highly, Jack Zayn's debut novel. He is a friend of mine and " Darklight" is a well-written fantasy story. When my friends MK and GH get their books published I'll be able to recommend those too. I am thankful to be associated with dedicated writers; I lack their writing discipline, and they motivate me to be a better wordsmith.